I am exhausted

Yes, it’s that time of year, yes it’s been a hectic one, yes we fell pregnant, bought a house, renovated, started a business and had a baby. So yes. I’m pretty tired.

This is me in the foetal position on my unmade bed, hiding from the rest of the family…

This past weekend we (I) reached semi breaking point. We have 3 utterly INCREDIBLE kids. Like, I adore them. With all of me. Every cell. BUT I’m also a normal human parent with my own dreams and desires and needs and they’re NOT about finding this.exact.piece of Lego, or making a hat with a button and a helicopter propeller and which propels you into the sky (I mean) or eating aaaaaanother piece of peanut butter toast after I made bovril by mistake. I’m soooooo tired of changing your nappy (Ryler) when I can verbally have a conversation with you about how great the potty is and how excited you are to use it, and please, for the love of all humanity, if I fall over your bike which is *not* supposed to be in the house ONE MORE TIME I will literally melt into a puddle on the floor. I don’t have spare batteries for that, please stop picking that scab on your face, and I think you’ve lost all our screwdrivers ‘fixing’ your own toys I have repeatedly asked you not to ‘fix’. I love your singing Clay but if Batman smells any more and Robin lays just ONE more egg… I’m going to implode.

So on Saturday, the crazy-o-meter was cranked up to max and I had to make some big decisions. My immune system has been on the blink since our 3rd arrived and I needed space from the noise, I needed an escape. After a go at the hub (which, let’s be honest, is what moms just need once in a while), and then a lovely un-shouty debrief of my current state of mental stability, I decided I was gonna take my smallest to my friends for a girls night. Daddy was gonna have a boys night with movies and popcorn and ice cream and chocolate (which they rocked), and I had wine and girly chats until midnight (which we rocked). We both got our kids to bed no problem and had a decent nights sleep.

Tummy time party at our girls sleepover…

What a calm, peaceful evening we both had – apart. I made my way home in the morning, to the boys screaming MOMMMMYYYY with open arms upon my arrival. Cute, but loud. Clay still in his jarmies and Ryler with an exploding nappy but whatevs – hubby was vacuuming. Go hubby. The welcome home was dear, but the chaos that then ensued put the maxed crazy-o-meter to shame. To SHAME. Our littlest wouldn’t settle with her dad and the boys sounded like they were playing, screaming, and singing joyfully through megaphones. Attached to amplifiers.

Both hubby and I looked at each other like ‘what the effffff is going on?’ “We had a great night” states hubby. I sigh and return with a “as did we”… Both of us were a little stumped at how the re-addition of only 2 of us, set the world ON FIRE. We also happened to have a wonderfully jam-packed afternoon planned (the eternal optimist in me), so much so that all 3 kids had fallen fast asleep before family tea, and they remained in la-la land the entire time. Hubby and I even snuck in a game of pool. It was like a date night, but at family tea.

All that to say, we got home, shattered (I even fell asleep in the car on the way home holding a jar of splashing kombucha and scoby), fed the kids toast (I couldn’t have been bothered to try feed them their ‘rainbow’), my mom bathed them and we sent them to bed. Right, so it turns out 3 kids is MANIC. Maaaaaaannnnniiiicccccc.

Even in admitting that, I wouldn’t change a thing. We have wonderful sleepers, adorable, considerate, kind, playful, adored and passionate children. But we feel it. I’m home with them, we don’t have a nanny, and I try go out drinking with my girlfriends as often as possible. But yes, this is trying.

So chip in here – please. How do you genuinely make this parenting gig work for you? And please don’t say ‘a hot candlelit bubble bath’ because I can still hear my kids screaming ‘maaaameee, where aaaaaare yooooou’ through the hollow unable-to-lock bathroom door.

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