Tag Archives: Ryler Cael

Oh, to be loved

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My little bub, Ryler Cael, turned 2 today.

“And so on April 29th 2014, just before 7am, after a beautifully real and intense labour (another significant space between), and water birth, Ryler Cael became Ryler Cael – We are : We become in the space between. We are, because YOU are.

And so to our dear Ryler – may you become an inspirer, a community builder, an intentionally relational being, an arm-lifter of the weak.

And as his daddy said to him on the day he was born, ‘the love is in the space between us; you’ll always be safe there’.” (read full post about his name here).

And besides the ‘oh my goodness, I had the most incredible birth’ feelings (which were COMPLETELY overwhelming last year – wow!), or the ‘how can you be 2, you should still be 8 weeks old’ feelings, or the adoration we feel when he tries to copy our words (which is simply the cutest thing everrrr) or the excitement we see in his pure delight while screaming ‘boooooons’ (balloons) or ‘birrrrdayyyy’ (birthday), or ‘hoooooorayyy’ at the end of his own birthday sing-a-long or answering ‘me me me’ to the question of ‘whose birthday is it today???’… this year I’ve been struck by the raw and real response he gives to simply being loved.

We live in community (on the same property) with my parents, and so in true keeping-with-Stephenson (my maiden name) style, we like to DO birthdays. Spoils, excitement, boooons, getting up early and singing, presents and cake. This is 100% unnecessary (in trying to continue a minimalist approach), but it is fun, and I really enjoy doing it – so that won’t change quickly. Our little now-toddler doesn’t need all this stuff, I know, but we love giving it to him. And I certainly kept it simple with gifts this year – which was a nice, guilt-free change.

But the love, oh the LOVE. The way his eyes light up when he sees mommy or daddy coming to get him from his crib in the morning and the big cuddles and morning exchanges that then ensue. The delight he feels in the love from his ‘sham’ (gran) and ‘papa’ (grampa) as they join in adoringly. We know we’re blessed. There is just so much love.

pooh love 2

Yesterday my almost-4yr-old spent his whole morning baking a cake for Ryler with my mom. Literally, the whole morning. And he decorated it too. And he nibbled off a few gummy bears and stole a couple m&m’s, and it was a little less than perfect but it WAS perfect because he had a ball and he was SO proud of his efforts. All for his younger brothers birthday… (sure, the sharing – or not – of Ryler’s presents this morning was not as adorable a task), but the LOVE.


This morning Ryler soaked.it.all.up. The balloons, the singing, the cake (oh the cake), the presents, the toys, the books and jelly beans. His face expressed it and his body exuded it. He knew he was loved. And actually, it didn’t matter, the ‘stuff’. Had it just been us, beaming with pride as we squeezed our little man full of birthday-ness, he would have known it full well, and just as well.

And so this morning, his unashamed and unreserved delight made me think deeper into what it means, and what a huge, huge blessing it is to BE loved. Feeling loved, and knowing one is loved is important (life changing really), but being loved. And we ARE loved. At the risk of getting all spiritual for those who do not follow the same faith we do… know, that you ARE loved.

he first loved us

And oh, if it is This Love that allows me to continue loving, then bring it on. Let us love: deep, wide, high, low, in joy, in sorrow, in confidence, in doubt.

Let us just LOVE.

Happy Birthday Ryler Cael. You are loved.

We are: We become in the space between

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Theran and I chose Ryler’s name when I was 40+ weeks pregnant, and no earlier. Had he been prem, he would have been extremely name-less. Friends forced babysitting services upon us and we landed up at a dessert spot down the road with coffee and cake and our ‘notes’ (not lists, notes). These included a billion pieces of paper with different words, in different languages, different meanings and parts broken up into different understandings with the majority of it all involving a generous amount of creative license.

You see, names are a pretty big deal in our family.

We had been in a season of very, very rich and beautiful community, the kind that changes who you are – the Ubuntu kind. We had lived amongst a community so intertwined and raw, so desperately loved and needing of each other, so open and real, we had changed. We lived amongst beauty, amongst hope and amongst struggle. We’d paid each other rent when we were out of jobs, we spotted each other’s coffee, textbooks and specials at The GAP. We cried, loved, laughed, and laboured together (literally, the baby-being-born kind). We had shared the heartbreak of miscarriage and sick parents and the joys of new life, dreams fulfilled and half marathons completed. It wasn’t so much the big stuff that changed us, although obviously it does, but it was that space in between. The space in between the first coffee and the second on a good friends’ couch or the taste of delicately flavoured food between mouthfuls. It’s the sound of the music between the notes.

The spaces (the points of time) between the beats of a heart is when the blood is forcably pushed into the new ventricle or atrium. It’s that space. It’s not the beat itself that is the big deal, but that time in-between, when the blood gets to where it’s going and does its job. Sure, it needs the heart to beat to do it, and the heart receives due credit, but the movement of the blood doesn’t get a pat on the shoulder when it does. But that’s when the magic happens.

Think about your in-between.

And so on April 29th 2014, just before 7am, after a beautifully real and intense labour (another significant space between), and water birth, Ryler Cael became Ryler Cael – We are : We become in the space between. We are, because YOU are.

And so to our dear Ryler – may you become an inspirer, a community builder, an intentionally relational being, an arm-lifter of the weak.

And as his daddy said to him on the day he was born, ‘the love is in the space between us; you’ll always be safe there’.