Category Archives: Doula

Having your questions answered…

I had a moment of panic a while back about what this birth and post-birth will actually look like. How would I birth? Who would be there? Does the hospital (where I plan to birth) have birthing pools/baths? Would they take my baby away after the birth (there are no nurseries in Vancouver and so bub doesn’t leave your side)? Would they allow delayed cord clamping and immediate skin-to-skin? All these things have become increasingly important to me over the last few years.

I wrote a post here called 5 Things to Think Through before you Give Birth and these are the kinds of things I’m now having to question in a new environment. What if the sleep deprived new mom behind the curtain in my shared room gives me the hairy eyeball if my bub won’t stop screaming and I won’t let her go to the nursery? I guess time will have to tell on that one. Wish me luck.

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No matter if you’re seeing a gynae, an OB, a midwife or a tree-hugging, placenta-encapsulating hypnotherapist regarding your pregnancy and birth, having your questions answered is vital. Being reassured and confident going into the latter part of your pregnancy is so important for a smooth(er) birth. No matter if you’ve chosen a cesarean birth, a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) or to go natural, having more information means feeling more empowered, and in the state of the crazy/uncertain/unknown that childbirth brings, we sure need it!

Here is a short list of questions I recently took to my midwife, and yup, I’m a little OCD and I write them down on paper (spontaneously as I think of them in the 4 weeks between my appointments) and don’t leave until I’ve settled my angst surrounding them: (I really recommend writing down questions so you don’t forget to ask them)

  • It is standard to take the baby away to the nursery post birth?
  • What is the relationship (and plan of action) between hospital/back up gynae and midwives?
  • Is there a pool at the hospital to birth in?
  • What is the fee for a private room, or how many usually share a room?
  • Can we ensure delayed cord clamping is part of my birth plan?
  • Where can I find a WOMBS doula-in-training? (I thought maybe helping a doula in training for this birth might be a good way to give back)
  • What is their post birth policy (how long does my birth team stay, how long do I stay in the birth room and then the recovery room)?
  • Talk to me about hypnobirthing… and do you encourage it?
  • At what point in a third pregnancy should bubs settle in head down (I’m just thinking ahead regarding baby’s position). You can read here about Belly Mapping (courtesy of Spinning Babies), regarding understanding and feeling your babies’ position in the latter part of your pregnancy – so not quite yet for me…

Other questions you might haveparticularly if this is your first birth:

  • Can you suggest some antenatal classes?
  • How long should I keep active and continue exercising?
  • Any dietary/supplementary recommendations (other than what I’m already taking)
  • (If you are thinking of going the natural route): What is the role of a doula? Can you explain to me the usefulness of a Birth Plan? Different forms of natural pain relief? (Get your head around this one early ladies!)
  • What medication is safe to take if I get a cold/the flu this winter?
  • How often is appropriate to ask your partner to rub your feet (on average, per week)?
  • (…and a million others you might have)…

While I will NEVER offer medical advice (I am certainly not a medical professional, I’m less qualified than Doc McStuffins), I’d love to hear your questions and possibly point you in the right direction if at all possible.

Here were my takeaway’s:

  • No one is going to take my baby away from me immediately following the birth (unless there is a medical emergency and it is necessary). Relief.
  • Bubs can stay with me at all times post birth (no nursery, unless of course it is needed or requested).
  • Pool, doula, delayed cord clamping, hypnobirthing… YES!
  • Eat more iron (coupled with Vit C for absorption), pop some probiotics, drink more fluids. CHECK.
  • It’s a good idea to go on a tour of the hospital/birth center you’re planning to birth in. The tension/adjustment to an unknown environment can halt a progressing labour. Give them a call and book an appointment.

Phew, that’s enough for my to-do list for now. It’s great having you along for the ride.

Until next time xxx

Featured image credit: Evidence Based Birth Blog.

 

Let the journey begin…

Debbie Pregnancy Journey

It feels as if my name has been called, I’ve walked onto a stage and I’ve been crowned – a Pure Beginnings Pregnancy Ambassador! And as the music plays, (natural) bath bubbles fall from the sky and Ruby the Rhino, Max & Minky (the Monkeys) and Ollie the Owl have joined me. (To me, this is WAY more exciting than any other pageant).

I am thrilled to partner with Pure Beginnings, one of my favorite organic and eco-certified South African brands, to document the journey of this, our 3rd pregnancy and the birth and newborn life that follows. I can’t imagine a better brand to walk this road with.

Let’s recap…

It was in January that this little life made itself known, and from the minute I saw those two pink lines, I knew this one would be different (least of which, was that it would be a she and not a he, which came as a HUGE surprise after 2 boys!). Waaa… what do I do with a girl?

It was roughly 3 minutes and 47 seconds after seeing those lines that the indescribable, inhumane, unlike-anything-ever-known-to-man exhaustion hit. If you’ve been pregnant, I’m sure you know the feeling. It’s not fun, especially with 2 boys in the house. Wow.

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Having had both our boys in Vancouver, I was not new to pregnancy but somehow this pregnancy seemed new to me. Which prenatal vitamins and supplements should I take? Who would my midwife be? How would I find a doula? Where would I birth? How would I birth? It all seemed so different. My immediate thought was to run back to Canada, but alas, that wasn’t a viable option.

clay and ryler at midwives

Over the years in which I have been thinking, researching and getting my hands really dirty (more like oily) in the ‘natural world’, and as I’ve blogged my findings, I’ve become more and more aware (and at times terrified) of how much is going on around us or within us that we simply don’t know or question. Slowly, and (more importantly) consistently, my choice of skincare has changed. While I could be better in the eating department (my month of strict Paleo starts soon – it’s birthday season and the cake is out of control), there are some new(ish) non-negotiables in our house regarding skincare. Having read an alarming article on the horrific number of chemicals found in a baby’s umbilical cord compared to generations ago, I now have a fresh start, and during this pregnancy I want to expose myself (and my helpless unborn) to as little nonsense as possible. Studies have shown that the average woman directly applies more than 200 chemicals to her skin via personal care products every day. Ermmm… that is terrifying… because we have no idea what these chemicals are or what they do.

So what does this change look like? Well regarding pregnancy, my prenatals don’t need to be coated in sugar, coloured pink and look like over-sized smarties. I’ve done enough research to know to take folate over folic acid and I’m upping my number of magnesium baths and probiotics (to avoid GBS). I won’t be bringing aluminium anywhere near my ever-growing breasts (did you know your off-the-counter deo most likely contains aluminium) and the nasties such as parabens, SLS (Sodium Lauryl Sulfate), Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLES), Ammonium Laurel Sulfate (ALS) and other hard-to-pronounce, no-one-really-knows-what-they-are ingredients won’t be coming near my skin (as much as I can control).

Pregnancy is a beautiful gift. I’ve always thought of it as carrying the most incredible responsibility with the least amount of control. I cannot control the growth of this little life, the amount of amniotic fluid I have, my baby’s sex, eye colour or the number of chambers in its heart. What I can control, is what I expose myself to, what I consume and what I smear on my skin. I can read, research and learn, and with that, make better choices for myself and this little life. I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m trying.

I’d love for you to join me in this conversation, and on this journey!

xxx

*WIN* a Pure Beginnings Organic Baby Gift Set! Enter on our Facebook page by commenting on what your fave PB product is and tag a friend for an extra entry! Compo is nationwide and closes on Monday 23 May, 2016.

Baby-Gift-Pack-large-510x600Good Luck!

I’m BAAAAAACK! And there is more of me…

I’ve been quiet. Sorry about that. While I previously would have been blogging and trying new recipes, and learning life lessons, going on more adventures with the kids, making new DIY thingy-majigs, finding new ipad apps (our old ones are not longer cuttting it), and sourcing new eco products… I’ve been napping, and going for scans, having serious food aversions, napping some more, overdosing on kauai smoothies, doing more napping, and peeing. A lot.

Yep, I’m pregnant, with number 3. While it was still under cover, I read this blog post by blogger Cindy Alfino (from 3 kids, 2 dogs and 1 old house). It made me laugh HARD, especially the bit about closing your eyes when paying school fees. Truth. Thanks for the laugh Cindy.

debbie shocked pregnant

Back to it! Sooo… we’re pregnant. Again. Fortunately, besides the exhaustion of managing two small boystrous boys (covered in noise and dirt, constantly) it’s been fairly okay. I’ve experienced food aversion in a big way – and afternoon exhaustion at its peak – but into the 2nd tri I’ve got my Superwoman cape on and I’m even taking both boys to the aquarium (DURING the school holidays mind you, pushing a HEAVY double stroller with NO air in its tyres surrounded by thousands of holidayers). You should see my speed and agility when the kids run in opposite directions. It’s award winning. I bought myself a mcflurry after to reward myself for my efforts. I deserved it.

Pregnant Debbie

Having had both my kids in Vancouver, this Cape Town birth idea was a bit new to me, but at the same time, I’ve never been as intentionally green (especially with my kids) as I am now. This is exciting. I find myself being VERY aware of what I put on my skin, and what I eat, which in all honesty, on the eating part… I haven’t been all that great (besides my weekly 2 x Kauai smoothies thanks to Vitality Fitness Rewards) – but when it comes to skincare – I’ve been military style. Sounds a bit hypocritical, and maybe it is, but give a pregnant woman a break will ya?

When it comes to my prenatal supply, I’m all over it, happily sourcing some of the best products available in SA. A friend recently asked me what I’m using prenatally, and here it is… (inspired by Wellness Mama, and a 3hr stint in emergency at 11 weeks with crazy abdominal pain).

Solgar products contain no preservatives, no artificial flavouring (I’d prefer if my prenatals didn’t look like giant pink smarties), as well as being gluten free, dairy free, yeast free, wheat free, sugar free.

I’m no doctor, but I do like the Solgar and The Real Thing ranges – and felt safe taking them. Probiotics are recommended during pregnancy for overall gut health and to avoid GBS if possible (although I was GBS+ during both boys’ pregnancies), and you can’t forget your omegas.

And so that’s where we’re at. More gushy, hormone-driven, pregnant, baby info is sure to come flying your way, but I’ll leave you with this precious moment yesterday with my midwife at Birth Options – the boys listening to the sound of their baby sisters heart beat. YES, it’s a GIRL (…we think – as much as the 13 week scan can tell you)… I’ll be sure to confirm after 21 weeks.

We are BLESSED! xxx

clay and ryler at midwives

Just Engage’s Online Antenatal Classes

If you know me at ALL, you know that I literally get goosebumps at the talk of birth, babies and all things labour. Trained as a Doula in North America, I love love LOVE end of pregnancy everything and get secretly gushy as woman start to talk about labour, birth and post birth (or even red raspberry leaf tea, herbal soaks for the perineum, stretch and sweeps and mucus plugs – weird right?). One of the things it’s not customary to discuss with potential clients is ones own birth (as everyone has a distinctly different birth experience), but it was the significance of my births that grew the desire to support and empower women in labour. You can read more about how much I looooove all this here.

And so I’m very passionate (especially after returning to South Africa from a very ‘informed consent about everything’ city such as Vancouver) that pregnant moms have AS MUCH information as possible when they make decisions towards the end of their pregnancy. I also desire moms to question, think, re-question, re-think and not just go with the flow or succumb to the fear of the unknown surrounding birth. There is grace and glory in the unknown! There is empowerment, indescribable joy and a mysterious disbelief in birth which deeply touches women, whichever way you birth.

If my days are anything like yours, it includes chaos, business, exhaustion, work, play, multiple cups of coffee, driving, meetings, groceries, events… and and and. And as a pregnant mom approaches due day, exhaustion can hit an all time high, but, you need to be in the know about what’s ahead.

So… I have the perfect way to inspire you into being labour-ready amidst all your goings-on… Online Antenatal Classes (!!), with our friends at Just Engage.

Hang on. Online? “Don’t I need to (drag my husband) to a weekly meeting for all this stuff”, you may ask? Well, you can, but you certainly don’t have to! Read on…

This is what Just Engage’s Antenatal Courses cover:

Course 1: Healthy pregnancies
Course 2: Stages of natural labour and birth
Course 3: Caring for mom and babe after birth and breastfeeding
Course 4: Cesarean births, inductions, VBACs and pain relief
Course 5: Early parenting
Course 6: Life after the birth.

Here is a sneak peak on the topic of water birth. I had a water birth with my second and I even learned something after watching this.

If you watched the link above, you would have met Sharon Kloppers, who began Just Engage in August 2012. She wanted to offer an antenatal class that was convenient and practical for busy working couples.

Her heart behind Just Engage is to offer expecting couples information and resources around all their birth and parenting choices, and to realistically connect them to networks of support depending on the choices they make.

She is most passionate about expecting moms feeling confident and supported in their decisions enabling them to have the best chance of a positive birth experience and beginning to motherhood (and fatherhood). Ah, I couldn’t agree more. Sharon also wants to expose this community of expecting families to the incredible professionals, organisations and resources that exist in South Africa which are maybe less visible or known.

WHY ONLINE?

For generations South African women have attended antenatal classes. Usually run by a midwife or physiotherapist, a group of pregnant ladies (and their reluctant significant others) gather in a hospital basement or someone’s home to learn about pregnancy, labour, childbirth and early parenting. While they have never been compulsory, it’s been a preferred method of meeting other expecting couples who will have babies and toddlers of a similar age as well as preparing yourself mentally for the changes ahead. Antenatal classes can help you and your partner focus on your pregnancy, and help you prepare for labour and birth as well as for the practicalities, and the realities of parenthood.

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However, times are changing. Many women work for as long as possible before baby arrives and so committing to a class with many sessions over many weeks is off-putting or simply impossible. The modern woman might ask ‘So what is the point of antenatal courses anyway?‘ and has turned to resources online to prepare herself for the transition from woman to mother. If you google antenatal class (online) you will find multiple options but not all of these will genuinely be helpful. Some classes are free, others are paid-for and there are now so many different approaches and techniques being taught.

WHY JUST ENGAGE?

Divided into 6 online courses, Just Engage offers video lectures that you can watch on a desktop, laptop or mobile device. You can work through the content at your own pace and in your own time, just log in on the website and pick up exactly where you left off. Basically, you can do your entire antenatal course online! Once you’ve watched a video lecture (usually by Sharon, the main facilitator and mentor, or a specialist lecturing on their area of expertise) you can download the notes from that lecture which you can keep in a PDF format. You can invite other pregnant friends to sign up with you so you are working through similar content and you can post comments on any video at any stage in the class. Subscribe to the monthly newsletter or follow the Just Engage blog to get updates on new video content, blogposts, related products or services now available and personal stories of mothers and fathers from the trenches of parenthood. Perfect for the busy family, right?

WHAT ABOUT THE COST?

Here in South Africa antenatal classes cost roughtly R1000+ for 6-10 classes you have to attend. The Just Engage class costs R780 to join which gives you access to all the content as well as ongoing access to new content as it gets added. A refresher antenatal class is an available extra. You also gain access to the online community, the blogposts, the forum and the online shop (but these are available to the public too).

CONTACT THEM – they’re here to help!

Follow them on Facebook and Twitter to keep up to speed with what they’re doing. You can also read all their FAQs here. SIGN UP NOW and enter the code ‘Debbie‘ at checkout and receive 20% OFF your online class subscription! Do it, do it now!

Keen to know more? Sharon is currently working on a new blog series on Down’s Syndrome. Downs is often a bit of a mystery to those not directly affected by it and she’s digging in and cracking it open for the rest of us. You can read her first post on it here.

If you’d like to know any more about Sharon, the antenatal classes, how to sign up, or what she’s currently working on, please contact her at admin@justengage.co.za.

5 things to think through before you give Birth

Don’t get me started on my birth stories. I could go on forever in so much detail it will either get creepy, weepy, gory or intriguing – depending on who you are and whether you actually asked to hear the stories or not. After my first son was born, I was so blown away by the experience I studied to become a doula (because I felt drawn to attend any and every birth thereafter) and so you can imagine I’m a little obsessed when it comes to (late) pregnancy, labour, birth and squishy, gooey, vernix-covered newborns. I even very seriously considered getting a tattoo of the coordinates of BC Women’s Hospital (the most phenomenal, miraculous, beautifully life changing maternity hospital in Vancouver). Sometimes I used to just drive past, and gaze longingly inside imagining women in the beautiful state of labour. I warned you this could get creepy.

And so, when my (fairly naive) hubby and I arrived at our first pre-natal class in the ‘Couve and the nose-pierced, harem-pants-wearing, tattoo-covered, hair-braided doula-instructor encouraged us to bring rolls of white paper to the hospital to make ‘placenta art’ post-birth, you can imagine we were mentally packing up our ‘birth manual’, breathing exercise CD, incense sticks, and the hypno-birthing business card and running for the hills. Even considering a medication free hospital birth was a huge step for us.

All that to say, I’ve come a looooong loooong way from that first terrifying night of prenatal classes and I think I have given birth (a significant amount) more of the respect I feel it’s due. I’ve taken the time to think through things one might overlook in the signing of the hospital papers and donning of the hospital gown.

Here are a few things that, until I got my head into this big, beautiful birthing world, I’d never considered or even thought much about. But after being on this side of it all, I would highly encourage. (These are mainly directed at those planning a natural delivery, but can most certainly apply to both natural and caesar births).

Doula. Get a doula. A good doula is an INCREDIBLE gift to a birth team. She is consistent, wise, forward thinking, reassuring, safe, hands on, and very, very helpful. She’s not intrusive, and knows the birth is not about her. I can’t imagine having had my babies without a good, supportive birth team, especially my doulas who never left me and knew what I needed before I could articulate it (in nonsense-speak during active labour). I felt so cared for, understood and loved during birth. Good doulas will bring up most of these points below in consultations – and give you even more to think about, such as positions to labour in, natural pain relief options and ways to encourage a natural induction if you’re headed over the 42 week mark, as well as home birth, water birth, or hypnobirth information. Read up on the invaluable benefits of doulas here.

‘If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it’ – John H. Kennell, MD.

Delayed Cord Clamping. Delayed cord clamping is a birth practice ‘where the umbilical cord is not clamped or cut until after pulsations have ceased, or until after the placenta is delivered’. A growing number of new mums are choosing delayed cord clamping for their baby.

Umbilical cord blood is a baby’s life blood until birth. It contains many wonderfully precious cells, like stem cells, red blood cells and white blood cells (including cancer-fighting T-cells) to help fight disease and infection. Yet common practice is to quickly cut off this source of valuable cells at the moment of birth. More and more, people are holding off from this immediate ‘clamp’. Unless there is a medical reason for baby to be checked immediately after birth (which can definitely happen – it almost did with my first), there shouldn’t be any rush to have your cord clamped. In many cases, baby is birthed, lifted up and given to the mother with the cord still connected and held on mums tummy or chest (depending on how long the cord is) until the pulsations have decreased or until the placenta has been birthed. Chat to your care provider about it. (Also, on a side note – how about having your partner cut the cord?).

Your Placenta. Have you even seen one, or pondered the significance of that ‘afterbirth’ (or afterthought?). Friends of mine planted theirs under a tree at each of their childs’ first birthdays (which I think is incredibly special), and others have encapsulated theirs. Once you are holding a baby, who cares about the placenta right? Wrooooong. It is a beautifully fascinating and mysterious nutrient rich organ. It fed your baby. It sustained it. Instead of just checking its all there (which is very important in post partum!) and then tossing it, consider donating it to medical science, encapsulating it, keeping it, or at least giving it a little wink of thanks for all its hard work.

Kangaroo Care (skin on skin). Fight for skin on skin time with baby as much as you can. If for some reason you can’t have your bub on you, get your partner to strip down and put baby on them. It seems obvious, yet most of the time baby is wrapped up in a blanket and placed in a bassinet. There is so much research about the incredible benefits of (naked) skin on (naked) skin, this one is a no-brainer. And it goes beyond the delivery room – continue intentional skin on skin into the early days, weeks and months of life.

Lactation Support. Breastfeeding is not only beautiful, but very healthy, very normal and creates a particularly significant bond between mum and bub. As everyone says ‘breast is best’, but some new mums really struggle to breastfeed. Find help if need be. There are plenty of lactation consultants around, and heaps of advice online (such as La Leche League SA). And if you can’t breastfeed, don’t beat yourself up about it. Your body made a baby, and that’s pretty darn miraculous.

Featured image credit: Evidence Based Birth Blog.
(It is such a beautiful picture I want to cry.)