Tag Archives: generosity

R3000 Challenge: Pauper to Princess 

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I promise I had this weeks meals planned.
With my R40 left, my meal plan was as follows:

Basil, cherry tom and chicken pasta,

Roast Chicken with veg,

Toasted sarmies with leftover roast chicken and cheese,

Soup (with whatever Food Lovers veg are on their mad Wednesday special).

And then this.


A gift.

You know when you settle for second best and then out of nowhere you land up hitting the bulls eye? Accepting that humble vulnerable spot, only be be bumped unexpectedly to first place?

That was us. Today. I’d counted the apples and pears for lunchboxes, gone 2 days with no milk in my coffee, eaten the crusts of my boys’ leftover peanut butter sandwiches (okay not really), but I was crawling apprehensively towards the finish line, nervous.

But it takes a village, and it seems my humble public meekness around our food budget brought out some of the most wonderful and generous acts of said village. Today we received THREE days worth of Day to Day meals (not even two as seen in the text above) as well as home-reared free range eggs, biscuits, dried fruit snacks AND jelly tots for the kids.

This evening we had steak, tomorrow we’ll be smacking our lips with smoked chicken and the next day pork chops. Fresh, healthy, local, nutritious family meals, when I was absolutely mentally prepared for (and content with) leftovers on toasted sarmies.

I sit here, on my bed, writing this, STUFFED. And grateful. While it may seem like I’ve been carried across the finish line (and maybe I have), there is a deeper lesson I’ve taken away from today. It’s that people are awesome. Share your journey – the hardships, the struggles, the challenges, the achievements. Be vulnerable. Accept gifts, give gifts, share. Share life, share food, share tears, joy, conversation, thoughts, ideas, generosity, abundance, privilege, concern, love.

Marcelle. You’re a great example of someone who shares. Thank you x

All gushy titles seemed lame – just read this won’t you? 

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So, my mom is awesome. She made this beautiful advent calendar and she pops fun goodies in it every night. Each morning the boys wake up and run across the back garden to gran and grandpas for their surprise treat in the advent calendar. Then there are the mornings I can see their alarm is still on and Clay has to wait in the kitchen. DISASTER. If I say he can’t yet run across, he literally melts into a puddle on the floor. And my morning starts with my bucket of patience being stabbed with a searing knife.

You’d swear I’d never mentioned or explained the words contentment or patience to him hey? (The word brat may or may not have also entered the conversation).


To be honest I’m eagerly anticipating the end of all this sugar-filled advent fun. It brings such joy to my folks and the boys, but it’s become an expectation. And you can’t blame them. They’re 2 and 4.

This present giving stuff is complicated man. Family gifts, or individual, or BOTH. Experiences or STUFF, fulfilling needs or wants? Extravagant or minimalistic? Homemade or store bought? So many people I chat to just wish we didn’t have to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE receiving presents, and I love giving presents. But the stress, financial pressure, time, energy and is-it-enough thinking it involves… meh.


I’m inspired by Joshua Beckers take on a lot of it, but as I intentionally slow down towards Christmas I’m more and more inspired to be people orientated. And that looks very different in each situation. Sure I’m personally trying to move towards minimalism, and not over-clutter or store things so deep in cupboards I don’t even know they’re there. Boom. Conviction. You feeling it?

How about donating to the fund of that young mom battling cancer, or cooking a delicious feast for someone who doesn’t have. How about donating to that that crowd-funding project and help someone live their dream (or support local businesses with interest free loans) . What about giving extra thought to the one who is anticipating her first Christmas without a loved one or the single parent who is not really coping right now…

(Because when family, friends and strangers gave money to us as we raised funds for Clay’s first eye op – it.changed.our.world).


How about instead of (like on autopilot) heading to the store to buy, wrap and throw gifts under the tree, challenge yourself to try give differently. WHAT does that look like? Because this intentional stuff CHANGES LIVES. It’s not a toy that’s played with for 17 seconds and then tossed aside.

Think about it…

Because you O’s must know…

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I’m not quite sure what we did to gain such outrageously awesome community. Across the world, we’ve found the most insanely hip, trendy, huge-hearted, thoughtful and good looking (you know it) people who somehow, we managed to convince to love us and be friends with us. It’s a mystery.

Anyhoo, so, you o’s must know how RAD our people can be. Besides everyday friends who are worth more than their weight in gold, last night, as hubby and I went out to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary (that’s a whoooole ‘nother blog post coming soon), we had two friends (#friendswhoarefamily), just float in, take over all evening and nighttime/nightmare-time kid chores and crashed for the night in our spare room (spare room, play room, same thing…) and this morning we all woke up, drank coffee, made pancakes and spoke about deep stuff.

Which then caused me to be late for my next session of overwhelmingly generous friends who started the Whats App group ‘Debbie’s Freedom’ after a few venting sessions about life with 3 kids. They’d arranged to meet at the good old Scratch Patch at the Waterfront, where they were ready and rearing to take on my two boys, with tickets paid for and in hand, to give me some peace. I MEAN. Plan ‘take the boys‘ went slightly awry when poor Ryler fell fast asleep pre-scratch patch play (and you don’t e.v.e.r wake a sleeping wannabe-dinosaur), and so I slowly moseyed around the Waterfront with my youngest two, fast asleep, in the double stroller (with freshly pumped up wheels – WIN) where I managed to meander shops, post a card which had been in my bag for 6 weeks, grab a smoothie and even did a little Christmas shopping.



All this while Clay was rummaging through stones with one of his fave little friends, and eating ice cream, after which he even scored a bonus trip to Reptile World (which was not on the days agenda, but generous friends are like that).


Truth be told, it may never happen again: by the end of it, there was melted ice cream, crying, deflated balloons, a sulky child who had had so much fun why couldn’t he go on the big wheel?, a few collisions with strollers and strangers’ feet, a waking and hungry baby, and a super tired toddler who had fallen off the front of the stroller because I forgot he had perched there (my bad)… but those friends, THOSE FRIENDS.

I MEAN.

Who is your Village? If you don’t have one, build one. If you do have one, call them up right now and tell you love them. Because, these people. Wow. This is the same crew who brought us cooked suppers when Brea was born, who surround me on girls nights and make me laugh about how nutso life can be, and who are always on the other side of whats app, be it for advice on parenting and marriage, how to get wine out of a carpet, how we should think about #feesmustfall or the most recent droughts, which books to read and how to make homemade deodorant.

Those people. Your people. Generous people. People who think just a little further than themselves, to the other. Let’s be inspired to be like them.

Thanks my people.

A quick thought on Generosity and Privilege

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I don’t mean to be another voice calling names and issuing titles and opening up a very real and raw race wound, but here’s a thought for this Friday.

The other afternoon I went running (my usual 5 km route). I usually run with a girlfriend but she was away and I needed to get my Vitality points in, so off I went. Not jabbering my mouth off like I usually do, I had time to think, reflect and pray.

One thing I love about South Africa is that most people seem really friendly on the roads. I try and greet everyone I run past and acknowledge what is going on around me. And as I was nearing home, I ran past this 35+ yr old black gentleman. He smiled at me and I smiled back and squeezed out a breathless ‘hi’ – we had a quick and friendly exchange.

As I ran past this fellow countryman (I presume he was South African) I had a moment of crisp and clear comparison, which has really made me think. I ran past him with my preggy belly, carrying a-born-into-privilege little lady (who will probably be blond if she follows her brothers’ hair colour in any way – somehow being blond made the picture in my head all that clearer). Just there and then my brain did a quick calculation. Not taking into account the house, the car and and and I was running towards, on my person was:

    • R1000+ running shoes (they’re serious shoes my hub bought for my first marathon which was put on hold after the two pink lines came up on the pregnancy test),
    • R250 New Balance crops,
    • (I can’t remember which top but probably one from a race I did in Vancouver which would have cost about $100 to enter – yup, races there are crazy money),
    • My R2000 Garmin running watch with GPS and heart rate monitor,
    • My Apple Watch which I have not yet paid for (and am still exercising ‘it off’ on the Vitality deal – but is worth around R6000)…

I was wearing on my person, (all new let’s not forget) more than R10 000 worth of stuff. On a single run. And as this young gentleman walked past me, he smiled at me, his fellow South African sister, who has had a completely different life to him. I’d probably give a growl and a hairy eye ball to the injustice of it all if I was him, but he smiled. Legend.

generosity

I’m not here to point fingers, say we need to give all our stuff away, move to a township or make anyone feel guilty or proud, good or bad. I’m just writing to share my small experience. That moment of clarity was real. It is also unfair to underestimate who this gentleman is. I don’t know him, so who am I to judge him? While I presumed he was walking to catch a lift on a taxi home (to a place I’ve never been), I can’t presume he is less or more than what I saw in my 2 second smile at him. But all this to say…

We have a LOT. WAY more than we need. I wasn’t at the UCT or Freedom Day marches. I am not waving a flag on the side of the street or shouting my opinions from the rooftop. I’m trying to come to grips with what it means to live in South Africa, identify as a South African, and be aware of what my fellow South African experiences day to day. And I’m far from it, but I’m on the road…

There is no difference between my domestic worker and I. Nancy and I are the same, we’ve just been given different lots in life (or however you chose to see/say it). She is not my slave. She is my sister. She works hard, arrives on time, is taking what she has and trying to do her best with it. Are we not all doing that? There are a million ways we can make this practical and better the lives of those in need and so many people I know are doing that, and it is BEAUTIFUL. So let’s do it more. More and more and more until the divide becomes blurry (yes, I know, its idealistic) but why not do it anyway.

Generosity is quite possibly one of the most beautiful things I see today. Just this morning, my colleague bought me a gorgeous set of new wine glasses because I had told her how, when unpacking our wine glasses (from boxes we packed up 6 years ago), we only found we had 2. Generosity and kindness – it can knock you off your feet a little if you step down from your privileged and entitled podium.

Lets just be kind, and aware, and generous.

(Preach over (wink emotion).)