Category Archives: Family

Beautiful, Beautiful Baby Bum Cream

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It’s amazing how my journey towards greenness started with a bleeding, horribly rashy newborn bum and how far we’ve all come since then. That bum is now 4.5 years old and thriving. If you’ve read any of my initial posts about this, you’ll know that it took calendula cream and clay powder to heal that bum after no medicated options worked.

So, the after the birth of our little girl, we swore we’d do anything to avoid that pa-lava. Enter Pure Beginnings. I religiously slapped their heavenly-smelling bum cream onto our newest tush after EVERY bum change. And have we had a problem? Heyyyyy no!

Pure Beginnings Baby Bum Cream is a therapeutic baby bum cream. It is natural and organic (obviously) and certified by EcoCert Greenlife (we love EcoCert things – they’re reliable and honest. You don’t get much past EcoCert).

Here is some more information on the cream:

  • Contains baobab fruit extract which is high in vitamin C and anti-oxidants (helps with skin elasticity and protecting against free radical damage) and also contains vitamins A and B which assists in firming and hydrating as well as having anti-fungal and anti-inflammatory properties.
  • Organic lavender oil, which has soothing and anti-septic properties.
  • Organic tea tree oil, which has anti-fungal, anti-septic and anti-bacterial properties.
  • Extremely effective barrier cream due to its natural anti-fungal, anti-bacterial and anti-viral properties.
  • Can be used to treat nappy rash as well as little insect bites and stings. (Winning!)

Sure, you can go simple and lather your baby with organic coconut oil or a variation of natural go-to’s, but what I really like is that this concoction is so well thought out. Lavender for calming, tea tree for anti-fungal and anti-septic. It is packed with vitamins that assist the delicate natural of the skin.

And our little Brea’s bum, with the help of Pure Beginnings, is perfection.

The Pure Beginnings Baby Bum Cream (125ml) costs R84.99 and can be purchased directly from them online, Faithful to Nature, BabyGroup, Baby City, Dischem (a new retailer on board) and many other retailers here.

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I ask you with tears in my eyes – please put down the Vaseline and Johnson & Johnson’s and give this cream a go! You will not regret it.

A Post Partum Hormone Inspired Post

You all know about the 3rd day bluesy/post partum/milk-coming-in day? If you’ve had a baby, you probably know what I’m talking about. I know it well. With all three kids, this day was real. Real as. I was warned about how the tears might flow, for unexplained reasons and how it’s hard to get a handle on it, but how it is also beautiful and emotional and hard and possibly a little out of control. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feeler. I FEEL things. And so for me these days were full on. But I anticipated it.

What I had forgotten about, was the 1 week post baby endorphin high/low. Wow. Hormones man, they are HARD CORE. And so this past Friday it all came rushing back. I have to believe that for me the unknown of ‘going into labour’ has a lot to do with it – that hour by hour, reliving what went down exactly a week before, the ‘is this labour’ questioning, the call to the midwife/birth team, the drive to the hospital and the walking into (contraction-ing into) the delivery room… And then marking (and celebrating) the exact time of birth… Even the ‘settling into the quiet, safe, sacred space of your hospital room’… It all came flooding back.


And so after some tears trying to process this all with hubby, and some more tears upon messaging my midwife (and her always-beautiful replies), and some more tears in the shower (those are great hey?), hubby offered to take me back to where it all happened.

So last Friday at 6:30pm, we piled our new family of 5 into the car and went on our first official family adventure – back to the hospital where it all happened. Hubby pulled up at sunset, I hopped out the car with our 1 week old and paid the maternity ward a visit. And honestly… it was a bit random. Maybe I was expecting some ‘Hi Debbie, how are you, so lovely to see you again, would you like a coffee?!’ with the nurses I had befriended on my lone ranger (hubby-less) stay in the hospital. But it was random. I know, a little disappointing right?

Because it was on the way home, while listening to the CD we played when we brought all the kids home from the hospital, that it dawned on me. While place is significant, and always will be, PEOPLE are where it’s at.


It was my midwife (a hero of a woman, who, after being in her care makes me want to sign up for midwifery school immediately), who loved me, empowered me, lead me, and in return allowed me to lead in birth. It was my husband, who held my hand through it all, listened to my needs, encouraged encouraged encouraged, watched, witnessed, and believed I could birth our daughter into the world with grace and dignity. It was our doula, who was thinking about what I couldn’t think about at that time, whose mind was always on what I needed next, and who carried the journey of labour with me. And our friend and photographer, who I’m SOOO glad was there, to celebrate with us, to capture, to document the real life miracle that is birth (for which I am eternally grateful and will treasure the pictures forever!)


It was them. Sure, I loved my quiet, safe hospital stay with wonderfully supportive nursing staff. But that Team. Oh that Team.


They gave me courage, they believed, they knew, they guided, they inspired and they empowered me (in ones most vulnerable state), to do this crazy, beautiful, natural, wonderful, hard, tiring, unforgettable and mysterious thing called birth.

For you, Susan, Theran, Thato and Rebecca. Thank you. May we all do for each other in day to day life, what you did for me in Delivery Room 3, 16 September 2016.

All pics: Love Made Visible

When all you want is to GET THE BABY OUT

To tell you the truth, I didn’t think I’d be here – post 40 weeks. Even though 40 weeks is the estimated time of a full pregnancy, all of that depends on your cycle and when you got pregnant and and and – it is no exact science as to WHICH particular date baby WILL be born. But still, I didn’t think I’d be here… at 40 weeks… still waiting.

Did you know that Term falls anywhere between 37 weeks and 42 weeks. Thats a 5 week window. That’s far off from an exact due date.

The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has redefined the meaning of “term pregnancy.” Pregnancies used to be considered at term, and babies ready for delivery, any time after 37 weeks. If mom went past that, those last three weeks (or longer) were almost seen as a write-off. Now, however, after a couple of decades that have seen too many C-sections and record numbers of babies in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), those last few weeks of pregnancy are being taken seriously. That’s why “term pregnancy” is now being broken down into distinct categories. (Source)

Early Term: Between 37 weeks 0 days and 38 weeks 6 days
Full Term: Between 39 weeks 0 days and 40 weeks 6 days
Late Term: Between 41 weeks 0 days and 41 weeks 6 days
Poster: Between 42 weeks 0 days and beyond.

That’s just some interesting info to chew on… but say you get to 40+ weeks and despite knowing that bubs is healthy and happy and fully developed for his/her impending adventure in the outside world – if a chemical induction (oxytocin/pitocin) is looming… what can you do to BAHM!!! speed labour along?

HUGE Disclaimer: Some people swear by these methods, and some seem to have zero effect. I am no medical expert. Please speak to your Care Provider before you try anything crazy and at the end of the day, baby will come when baby is ready, so play with this all lightly. Okay? Good.

Clayden skin 2

With our second, we were warned of a fast birth. And at 40+3 days we were getting a bit nervous. Hubby had a HUGE speaking engagement fast approaching and genuinely couldn’t miss it. So on the Monday (40+3), we went nutso on EVERYTHING to do with natural induction, and Tuesday at 4:30am I went into (fast and furious) labour, and at 6:30am, our second was born. So even if it is all mental – I can’t help but believe that our attempts at natural induction were a raging, rip roaring success.

I’ve come to learn it’s all about oxytocin. ALLLL about oxytocin. So, thats the goal. Get more oxytocin running through your body, and do what you need to do to keep it up (and your stress/anxiety hormones at a minimum).

As a mom, and a doula, here’s what I would suggest: (Obviously, again, please chat to your birth team care providers before jumping into any of this.)

Exercise/Long walks. Man these can be hard because you feel like a hand or a head will pop out at any time, but don’t give up. Keep active (within reason).

Stretch and Sweep/Membrane Stripping: Some are not so keen on this one, as it’s a bit intrusive, but it can be very effective. Basically, your doctor/midwife will use a gloved finger to separate the amniotic sac from the uterine wall. This action releases prostaglandins. We love prostaglandins. *Personal preference: I had a gentle stretch and sweep with my 2nd, it didn’t hurt, and it certainly helped. 

Nipple Stimulation: Stimulating your nipples can help release oxytocin and cause your uterus to contract and possibly bring about labor.

Sex: Although research results are mixed, anecdotes abound about late babies making an entrance soon after a love-making session. Semen contains cervix-softening fats called prostaglandins (also used in medical induction) and a woman’s orgasm can lead to strong uterine contractions. (source)

Acupuncture: Acupuncture stimulates the release of oxytocin in the body. In a randomized trial published by the Journal of Perinatal Medicine, over 400 women were given acupuncture, membrane stripping, or both procedures before their labours. There were no significant differences in the outcomes of the groups, but the vast majority of these women did not require medical inductions. Pregnancy acupuncturists are often super clued up with a number of tricks including how to try turn posterior babies – so keep an open mind. Even just for the fun of it.

Acupressure/Prenatal Massage: Some practitioners believe that acupressure can start and restart labor. The key is beginning the practice early and often, or else just head to an experiences prenatal massage therapist. Various pressure points are safe to press starting at 37 weeks. You can increase pressure the closer you are to your due date and during labour itself. But prior to applying acupressure to yourself, make sure you get proper instruction from a trained acupressure professional. Read a great Mommy Potamus article about it here.

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Spicy Foods: Spicy foods can cause your body to release prostaglandins throughout the digestive process. These hormones may trigger contractions in the uterus. Either way, even if they don’t, you scored some chilli poppers out of the experiment. So it’s a win-win. (f you’re in the Cape Town area, may I suggest The Pickled Popper‘s Chilli Poppers).

Evening Primrose Oil: Though EPO itself may not cause labor, it can prime and soften your cervix. You may take the oil orally or insert it vaginally for the best results. You can prick the oil capsule with a clean needle and insert. While healthcare providers have long suggested taking EPO to ease birth, there is little proof that it naturally induces labor. Rather, treat it as something which softens your cervix, and that can’t hurt (source).

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Red Raspberry Leaf Tea: Midwives often recommend drinking red raspberry leaf tea in combination with evening primrose oil as your due date nears. The team at OBGYN North in Austin, Texas, share that the tea tones the uterus and helps to organize irregular contractions into regular, productive patterns. Even if it doesn’t work, you’ll stay hydrated. (source)

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Eat Pineapple: The bromelain in pineapple and other tropical fruit is said to induce labor by stimulating the uterus. Alternately, it could just be the intestinal stimulation from eating large amounts of pineapple that gets labor started. And you would really need LARGE amounts for it to actually kick labour into gear. Either way, this is a delicious way to induce labor naturally.

Eat Dates: Date fruit contains saturated and unsaturated fatty acids such as oleic, linoleic, and linolenic acids, which are involved in saving and supplying energy and construction of prostaglandins. In addition, serotonin, tannin, and calcium in date fruit contribute to the contraction of smooth muscles of the uterus. Date fruit also has a laxative effect, which stimulates uterine contractions.” (source) There is another great article by Wellness Mama about dates and labour here.

dates

All that being said, I’d love to hear if you have tried any of these methods and if anything helped you. And of course… Good Luck!

Image credits: herbs.lovetoknow.comwww.youngandraw.comwww.checkpregnancy.com.

One Step to Reducing Chemicals on your Skin

With all the talk around chemicals and our exposure to them, I’ve had to take time to rethink what I do automatically, every day, without thinking, and if it’s a good or bad move on my part, especially during pregnancy. You know that saying ‘Every time you eat or drink you are either feeding a disease or fighting it’… well I think the same rings true for what we put ONTO our body.

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One of my New Years Resolutions for this year was to find homemade recipes for all the make up I use and l have it be all natural by 31st December 2016. Then I got pregnant, so let’s not be holding me to all that right now. I used to make my own mascara in Vancouver (with raw egg yolk – not even kidding!), and it was awesome, and EASY, but I feel like I now need a bar fridge in my bathroom to store all my homemade products. Regardless of my lack of research into natural make up over the course of this year, I do stop and think, and pick my battles wisely.

One of these automatic, sub-conscious things I do each day, is wash myself in the shower. Having reconsidered what I use on the kids, it was only appropriate that I reconsidered what I used on myself (and hubby, who really just grabs whatever I put in the shower for us to use). I tried making homemade soaps, but the ingredient list got too long and I always found them a tad oily, and arghhhh, was just never happy with it. I prefer a good (foamy) scrub using a liquid gel, and once I tried out Pure Beginnings’ Body Wash with Organic Baobab and Ylang Ylang I was sold. There is a fair amount of exposure around their baby and kids ranges, and so has been great to see their Organic Care range expand over the years, with products such as these.

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Small steps guys, small steps. You don’t need to change EVERYTHING you use in one huge tidal wave motion. Small changes that can be maintained are where it’s at. I love how this body wash foams (unlike castille soap, which I really like, but have found some frustrations with), and how it smells and how clean it makes me feel. Also, we love a pump bottle – quantity control. It really can last much longer than squeezy bottles. I’ve even let some friends use it (I’m generous like that :)) and while initially critical, they’ve been pleasantly surprised and well impressed!

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“Suitable for the whole family, this natural SLS-free body wash infused with community sourced organic Baobab fruit extract will leave skin feeling soft and clean. The natural citrus and ylang ylang fragrance combine to make bath and shower time a delightful experience”. 

Also, don’t be fooled. This is a bigger issue than you might think. This natural body wash is not just eliminating the BAD stuff (SLS, parabens, etc.) but it is using and introducing the GOOD stuff.

It optimises environment for beneficial microbes:

  • Includes inulin, a prebiotic, to create a healthy micro-climate for beneficial bacteria.
  • pH balanced to avoid stressing the skin.
  • Gentle surfactants to ensure natural skin oils and beneficial microbes are not stripped and skin is not compromised.

It defends agains environmental stress:

  • Baobab Fruit Extract and Vitamin E, both strong anti-oxidants, fight free radical damage from pollution, the sun and the environment.

It hydrates and nourishes:

  • Natural plant oils such as Jojoba, Coconut, Argan and Sunflower oil deliver essential fatty acids to hydrate and nourish.
  • Inulin provides moisturising properties.

It soothes and calms:

    • Aloe Vera acts as a natural anti-inflammatory to soothe irritation and calm the skin.

And so just like that you have more than enough reasons to stop, rethink, and reconsider what you are putting on your skin each day, reduce the amount of synthetic chemicals you are exposing yourself to and be properly awesome at the same time.

If you want more inspiration, and have conquered step one by changing your body wash, why not go wild and rethink your toothpaste, deo, shaving cream and hair care?

The One about Hiring a Doula

Birth is expensive – I get it. I’m facing all of that right now. Scans, blood tests, Dr’s/midwife bills… it goes on and on. On top of that, I’ve just signed up for HypnoBirthing classes, and for first time mom and dads there are prenatal classes, prenatal yoga, lactation consults, buying a ga-zillion (often expensive) things. It’s all just hectic.

And then there is the doula, which doesn’t seem all that important when facing the million bills, unexpected needs, third trimester exhaustion and hubby asking “what on earth is a doula?”

I’ll save you my shpeel on why I think you really, really reaaaaaally should consider hiring a doula (I am a doula, and have had a doula at both previous births – so am a huge advocate) but I’ll just give you some food for thought, inspired by Wellness Mama Blogger, Katie.

if a doula was a drug

As a doula, it is an honour to be invited to participate in anyone’s birth team, and having done it numerous times, I am always inspired and in awe of labouring moms. There really is something so primal and raw about a mother labouring – it is beautiful and astounding to witness. While doula’s are certainly not the be-all-and-end-all of births, there is a lot of evidence that the presence of a doula can shorten labours and (in some cases, drastically) improve birth outcomes.

What is a Doula and What Does She Do? (Source)

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What Does a Doula Do? The word “Doula” comes from the Greek word doule, meaning “handmaiden” or “woman who serves.” That is precisely the role of a doula for a laboring woman: to serve the laboring mother and help her have her desired birth outcome. 

In essence, a doula is a massage therapist, friend, therapist, DJ, court jester or anything else a mother needs her to be in labor. She is a shoulder to cry on or an encouragement when the mother thinks she can’t go on.  Most doulas go through a rigorous training program before assisting women in labor.

A doula is trained in labor and childbirth and provides continuous support to a laboring mother. Her focus is tending to and helping the mom and supporting the relationship of the laboring couple. Doulas often support laboring women by:

  • Providing continuous emotional and physical support,
  • Giving information if asked and helping the mother find resources to research her birth choices (before labor),
  • Using comfort measures like massage, suggesting different positions and helping with relaxation breathing,
  • Accommodating the mother’s wishes for the birth environment (low light, soft music, etc) to the extent possible in the place of birth,
  • Encouraging the mother to communicate with her doctor and to be informed about any procedures and interventions (a doula does NOT give medical advice or interfere with the doctor/mother relationship),
  • Supporting the father or birth partner in the best way to support the mother. A doula never replaces the very important role of the birth partner and a good doula will help the birth partner by suggesting ways that he can support the laboring mom and things that can improve their synergy in labour.

But WHY a Doula?

Women have complex needs during childbirth and the weeks that follow. In addition to medical care and the love and companionship provided by their partners, women need consistent, continuous reassurance, comfort, encouragement and respect. They need individualized care based on their circumstances and preferences.

Doulas are educated and experienced in childbirth and the postpartum period. We are prepared to provide physical (non-medical), emotional and informational support to women and their partners during labor and birth, as well as to families in the weeks following childbirth. We offer a loving touch, positioning and comfort measures that make childbearing women and families feel nurtured and cared for.

Doulas are also great at practical help: taking photos at your birth, moving your bags from one room to another, keeping you hydrated, massaging your lower back through a tough contraction, helping you understand ‘medical talk’ going on around you, filling the bath if you desire a water birth, and they’re always on the other side of the phone when your waters break, you lose your mucus plug, or you’re onto your 17th cup of red raspberry leaf tea…

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Numerous clinical studies have found that a doula’s presence at birth

  • tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications,
  • reduces negative feelings about one’s childbirth experience,
  • reduces the need for pitocin/oxytocin (a labour-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction and cesareans,
  • reduces the mother’s request for pain medication and/or epidurals.

Research shows parents who receive support can:

  • Feel more secure and cared for,
  • Are more successful in adapting to new family dynamics,
  • Have greater success with breastfeeding,
  • Have greater self-confidence,
  • Have less postpartum depression.

So, how do you go about Hiring a Doula?

In South Africa, the best thing to do is to check out WOMBS (Facebook and website) as well as MamaBamba and just ask around. Chat to your gynae or midwife. Doulas gain the most business from word-of-mouth, because I think actions really do speak louder that words in this type of ‘industry’.

Interviewing a number of potential doulas is really important – but might feel a bit weird, right? Even if you’re not sold on the idea, I’d recommend just meeting with a couple and chatting stuff through, and soon enough you’ll get a feel for what they can do to support you in your birth and if you want them as part of your birth team.

Here’s a cheat sheet on what to ask (thanks to Wellness Mama)

Important Questions to ask when considering a Doula:

  1. What is your training? If certified, through what organization?
  2. Are you available around my due date?
  3. How many other clients do you have around this time?
  4. What is your philosophy about birth and how do you most often support women in labour?
  5. How many births have you attended?
  6. Have you attended births at my birth location and what were experiences there?
  7. Do you have experience with my caregiver?
  8. Do you have a backup doula and will I meet her?
  9. At what point in labor do you meet up with us?
  10. How do we contact you during labor? Are you always on call?
  11. What coping techniques do you find most helpful?
  12. What are your fees?
  13. Why did you become a doula?
  14. Have you given birth yourself? Did you have a doula? What were your birth experiences?

It is also really important to connect with your doula and feel like you can trust her. She will be with you during one of the most intimate and vulnerable times in your life, so your comfort with her is vital.

Money, money, money…

The cost of a doula varies greatly depending on where you live. Doulas who are working toward certification (student doulas or doulas-in-training) may offer discounted or free rates (WIN!), while some really experienced doulas can cost a pretty penny (but often offer awesome benefits such as a whole toolbox of tricks, use of a TENS machine, prenatal massage, training in HypnoBirthing and so on). In general in South Africa, the rate seems to be around R3000. For the most part, medical aid will not cover this cost, so needs to be calculated into your birth budget.

This might sound like a huge additional (and maybe even seemingly unnecessary) expense, but considering the additional expenses that can occur without the presence of a doula, can be just as much if not more. If for no other reason than protecting the birth experience and the deep (deeeeeep) memories associated with your birth experience, that was enough for me. In my mere 32 years of being alive, one thing I’ll always believe in is community, The Village, and it is in these times of very real vulnerability that continuous loving support can make or break. We were never ever meant to birth alone.

And so, have you ever had or considered using a doula? What was your experience?

Image credit: blissfulbeginningsdoulacare.wordpress.com, antipodeanmushroom.wordpress.com,

 

Re-thinking the Bubble Bath

If there is one thing I can do to lure my littlies into a bath they’ve been playfully (and therefore skillfully) avoiding, it is uttering the words “I’ll add bubbles”. Well then, mind out the way, because they’ll come running.

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But, do you know what ingredients are in most bubble bath liquid soaps? I hate to burst your bubble (sorry – I couldn’t resist), but the news is NOT GOOD.

For ages and ages, all I used to wash my kids with was pure Dr. Bronner’s castile soap. It’s the purest kind of liquid soap I could find and I used to buy it in bulk overseas. I love castile soap but it’s pretty boring (no bubbles, barely any foam), and once kids learn that bath time can involve colourful fizzies, beans bursting into different shaped sponges, toys that flash different colour lights and then, BUBBLES (!), it’s hard to stick to the same old unimaginative castile regimen.

So can we find something better than Sailor Matey Ahoy Bubble Bath? Of course we can. Have you ever tried Pure Beginnings’ Bubble Bath? I love a lot of PB products, but this one fills a gap that I haven’t been able to fill otherwise – it offers safe, clean and enjoyable bubble baths.

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Here’s exactly what’s going into your kids mouth as they eat the bubbles:

Aqua (Water), Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Decyl Glucoside, Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) Leaf Extract*, Sodium Citrate, Citric Acid, Citrus Aurantium Dulcis (Orange) Peel Oil*, Adansonia Digitata (Baobab) Fruit Extract*, Xanthan Gum, Benzyl Alcohol, Dehydroacetic Acid, Tocopherol, Helianthus Annus (Sunflower) Seed Oil, Cananga Odorata (Ylang Ylang) Flower Oil, Linalool**, Limonene**, Geraniol**

*Ingredients from organic farming, **component of natural essential oils, 99% of the total ingredients are from Natural Origin, 97% of vegetable ingredients are from Organic Farming and 10% of the total ingredients are from Organic Farming.

If that doesn’t really mean all that much to you, remember that Pure Beginnings is Phytotrade Accredited, Beauty without Cruelty Certified, as well as EcoCert Certified (which is another way of saying every single ingredient is scrutinized and every detail of the product and its’ production is audited).

This bottle of bubble bath costs R65 for 250ml and it actually bubbles (unlike some other eco brands out there) so you don’t need to use it all in one go – thank goodness. YAY for genuinely awesome bubble baths!

You can buy it straight from the Pure Beginnings website, or find a stockist closest to you here.

Meeting in the Doctor’s Waiting Room

Yesterday I took our eldest for a follow up appointment at our ophthalmologist. I’ve written a little about his story here but yesterday I anticipated a fairly similar outcome to our usual checkup. But the appointment was unusually, and beautifully hopeful. More on that later…

I was running a little late after dropping our youngest at my in-laws and rushed in at 2:02pm (our appointment was for 2 – and I hate being late). As I dashed in, a father snuck in the door behind me holding his young daughter. She was gorgeous, and could not have been older than 2 and a half. I could see immediately (from my limited experience) that she had a squint, even though I think most would probably not notice it. The receptionist looked at us both and requested ‘last name?’ to which I replied ‘Knighton-Fitt’ and so she turned to the gentleman and said, ‘Oh, so this is your first appointment?’ My heart broke as I remembered our first appointment, and I had such sympathy imagining the journey he was about to begin.

As the dad took the clipboard from the receptionist and got ready to recall their medical history on paper, I wanted to throw my arms around them and give them both a huge hug and tell them everything would be okay, but it’s easy to say that looking back.

cuuute pic of clay

There were so many perfect moments this afternoon in that doctors room. The fact that Clay couldn’t fit on my (now enormous) lap meant that I had to pop him on the BIG chair alone and watch him interact with our doctor himself. He would never had done that even 6 months ago. He answered the questions politely and watched the red ball, the cotton bud and the torch so obediently. He listened to everything the doctor said, and whispered the correct answers to all eye tests. His eyes had locked into place (NO.MORE.SQUINT), and his eyes were excellent, individually, both in strength and crisp clarity. ‘Proud mama’ doesn’t begin to describe it.

At the time of the 3D test, I held my breath. This was what we had no idea what to expect. While our 2 operations had corrected some mechanical issues, the development of 3D was never a certainty. His last appointment 3 months ago showed he had no 3D vision. (IE: He can kick a ball and do everything any kid with 20/20 vision can do, but give him a set of 3D glasses for a movie and it wouldn’t mean a thing to him. This can have larger consequences later on when it comes to future career choices and sports etc.). If you don’t develop this kind of 3D by age 4, chances are you might never develop it. Clayden has just turned 4.

So as he looked through the 3D glasses into the book and tried to grab the fly’s wings (which should stand up from the page) he grabbed… the… air. Our Dr looked at me with excitement and I knew it was good. If he had grabbed the page it would have indicated that his 3D was still non existent. Watching him digging his chubby innocent little fingers under the ‘wing’ made my heart leap and I had to grit my teeth to stop myself from bursting into tears. It was all such such such good news. After a 2yr long journey with Clay’s acquired esotropia, across 2 countries, with the help of 2 optometrists, 2 ophthalmologists, 2 operations, and a VILLAGE of support, prayer and a lot of money  (and tears) spent, this is what we’ve been waiting for. Our first appointment with ‘everything looks perfect’. (The only thing better is if we were to phase out the glasses completely, but one step at a time – only time will tell – and he is so stinking cute in his glasses, I think I’d miss them).

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Eye Operation April 2015. 

As we left (I could have hugged our doc – but it would have been pretty random), I saw the dad and his daughter replace us in his room. One family out, another one in. Just like that. With a heavy camaraderie-like heart, I watched them start the journey we were (praise God) ending.

Clay eating ice cream

So many of my latest, more personal blog posts have been about kindness and awareness. This one is no different. To think we are all on our own personal, raw, delicate, challenging, sensitive and day-by-day journeys, needs to be recognised. People need to be SEEN. To that family who are beginning the journey correcting eye issues, to the family who have lost a baby that no one knows about, to the family who is struggling with infertility, or severe anxiety, or self-hate or a scary diagnosis. None of us have our stuff together (maybe on the outside it might look like it), so let’s all just be a little more sensitive and aware.

As our awesome (deeply missed and longed for) church in Vancouver used to say each time we met, “we are a community of Hope and Struggle”… and let’s allow ourselves to be just that.

Let’s Talk Baby Food: Part 2

Here we are – the much anticipated Part 2 of Let’s Talk Baby Food with Deidre Lindeque, who is a Nutripaeds Dietitian and Lactation Consultant, (check them out on Facebook here). If you haven’t seen Part 1, you can find it here.

I promised we’d tackle the topics of Baby Led Weaning and the The Dirty Dozen and Clean Fifteen. Grab a coffee – it’s another long one. Let’s dive straight in!

Baby Led Weaning:

(Personally I did ‘normal’ weaning for my first (you know, it felt like I was ‘sticking with the rules’), and then significantly more baby led weaning with my second. I’m imagining continuing the baby led weaning with number 3 – almost more for ease of eating times than anything else…)

Many moms ask if they should do “baby led weaning” or “normal weaning” – and Nutripaeds does not believe that one should practice one OR the other but ideally an amalgamation of both. For soft foods e.g. yoghurt, oats, nut butters etc. spoon feed as you would be eating such things in the same manner as an adult. Important however is not to underestimate an infant’s ability to self feed non-pureed foods much earlier than what was commonly practiced, so there is no problem with incorporating principles and ideas of Baby-led weaning into “traditional” weaning routines.

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Baby-led weaning is, it must be said, a somewhat cheesy term for just letting your infant self-feed. You cut food up into manageable sticks and offer it, they eat. It’s really pretty simple.

The key difference between BLW and traditional weaning, when you think about it, is in the order that children learn to eat. With a puree, they learn to swallow first and then chew, which works fine until they meet a lump. With BLW, the babies learn to chew first and swallowing might come sometime later.

It’s ‘baby-led’ in the sense that you let them do what they need to do while they’re learning, and as the parent you resist the urge to get wound up in knots about how much they’re eating, whether they like the food you thought they’d like and whether it’s mashed into the nearest carpet. The main thing is… it’s all good clean (messy) fun.

Some Simple tips for getting started: (How great is this advice?)

  • Forget ‘baby food’. Food is food – as long as you’re not adding salt and sugar. To start off with, think chip-sized because it’s an easy shape for little 6-month- olds to grip, but you’ll soon move on to smaller pieces as it’s more interesting for a child developing a pincer grip.
  • No bowls, they’re just asking to be flung heavenwards. Put the food on the highchair tray or table and remember, it’s all a learning experience for the baby at this point.
  • There will be mess! If you are weaning in summer don’t be afraid to eat outside or semi-naked. For winter invest in a great cover-all and pelican bib.
  • Putting a wipe-clean tablecloth under the highchair is a good idea if you have carpets and some people find that a crinkle cutter is handy to make food extra-‘grippable’.
  • Experience suggests that the more effort you put into making something special for the baby, the less likely they are to eat it 😉 Give them what you’re having. If they hate it, that’s okay, they’re getting their calories from milk anyway.
  • Of course it would be perfect if we ate every meal as a family but this isn’t always possible. Try to keep your ‘social activity’ head on, though, even if it’s just you and your baby sharing a sandwich at lunch. Keep smiling, keep enjoying, keep paying attention. It’s just good manners at the end of the day, something it’s never too early for a child to learn.
  • Don’t get too hung up on three meals a day, it may take a while to work up to that. Whatever’s convenient and enjoyable for you is best.
  • And don’t put too much on the highchair tray at the one time, just a couple of pieces of food will stop them feeling overwhelmed.
  • Actual hunger can be frustrating for the babies when they’re still getting to grips (quite literally) with things. Timing ‘meals’ to between milk feeds seems to be best, and because it’s just finger food you aren’t limited to staying in. There’s no reason why you can’t pack a wee Tupperware with some carrot or cucumber, buy a banana when you’re out or just pull some bits out of an undressed salad.
  • Never put food into a child’s mouth, let them put it in by themselves so that they can control it as it moves backwards.
  • Nappies and their contents will soon fascinate you in ways you never thought possible. Raisins re-hydrate, little pieces of still-green broccoli sneak through the digestive system and bananas produce poo with strange black threads.
  • Have a camera ready to capture those first gummy, carroty smiles because as daunting as it may seem, weaning is a very short time in your child’s life. So remember to enjoy it…

Finger Food Ideas:

  • Steamed (or lightly broiled) whole vegetables such as green beans, baby sweetcorn, mange-tout/sugar-snap peas).
  • Steamed or lightly broiled florets of broccoli or cauliflower.
  • Steamed, roasted or stir fried vegetable sticks such as carrot, pumpkin, butternut, potato, aubergine, sweet potato, parsnip.
  • Raw sticks of cucumber (great when straight from fridge to ease the gums of teething babies).
  • Thick slices of avocado (not over-ripe and they become very soft and squishy)
  • Fruit such as pear, apple, banana, peach, nectarine, halved grapes, pawpaw, mango – either whole or as sticks.
  • Cheese – sticks of firm cheese e.g. cheddar or gouda and well as cubes/triangles of full fat cream cheese.
  • Dried fruits such as mango strips. Baby sweet corn and fingers of peeled cucumber and avocado are all yummy and easy.
  • Starchy foods are nice ways to incorporate energy especially into fussy eaters, some fun finger starchy include: balls made of cooked rice or quinoa and small pieces of toast fingers.
  • Rice cakes, rusks and dry breakfast cereals such as all bran flakes and multigrain oatees.
  • Mini brown bread sandwiches cut into triangles, fingers or squares – suitable fillings include mashed banana, hummus, grated cheese, cream cheese, mashed avocado, nut butters.
  • Falafels, lentil balls and mini meatballs – beef, chicken, ostrich and lamb mince variants – one can also cook it as a meatloaf.
  • Cubes of firm cooked fish, fish balls made with minced fish.
  • Cubes of tofu, slices or quarters of hard boiled eggs or strips of well cooked omelette.
  • Fishcakes or fish fingers (not processed variants).

NB: You do not need to use recipes designed especially for babies – just keep salt and sugar (and heavy spice) to a minimum.

Don’t be fearful of choking, as long as you are always present when your child is eating and as long as food is soft and pieces are small, your child will learn to chew and navigate his way through his finger snacks. Remember practice makes perfect and if you never allow your baby to practice with new foods and foods that need to be chewed then he won’t become an expert at chewing and he will be a choking risk. So relax and keep it simple and nutritious and watch as your baby enjoys this new feeding experience.

THE DIRTY DOZEN and the CLEAN FIFTEEN.

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The dirty dozen and the clean 15 refer respectively to the fruits and vegetables that are the most and least contaminated by pesticide use, according to the Environmental Working Group.

Why do we care? Pesticides are toxic by design! Different pesticides have been linked to a variety of health problems, including hormone disruption, cancer and brain toxicity (and many, many more). But for most people, switching to organic produce is a gradual process. Because organic foods tend to be more expensive than their counterparts, making informed choices in the produce aisle helps minimize pesticide consumption while keeping the budget in check!

Should you avoid the dirty dozen? Absolutely not! Fresh fruits and vegetables are always a healthier choice than processed foods. Besides, non-organic processed foods are sure to contain loads of chemicals too. Instead, let the guide dictate your allocation of organic vs. non-organic purchases.

Why eat organic food? All of this opens up a bigger discussion about the choice to eat organic food — and the reasons that not everyone does. Often, the decision comes down to bottom line. Non-organic foods usually cost less money. But there are other costs — hidden costs — that have to be considered too. These include abstract factors like the cost of demanding more from the earth than it can produce and the long-term health costs associated with ingesting chemicals.

There are also ways to offset the increased out-of-pocket expenses incurred by prioritizing organic foods.

Committing to cooking whole foods from scratch – alongside careful meal planning, home gardening and food preservation – can largely counteract the cost of organic food purchases. The process is gradual. Change takes time. And all of us have to work within our budgets.

Which is where the dirty dozen and the clean 15 come into play. The list is a resource to help you make the best choices for your health and for the earth, whatever your current budget or state of ‘greenness’. If eating from the dirty dozen list (non-organic) be sure to wash the fruit and vegetables well before consumption. (Find my handmade fruit and veggie wash here)…

The Dirty Dozen (in order of contamination)

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1. Apples
2. Celery
3. Sweet bell peppers
4. Peaches
5. Strawberries
6. Nectarines
7. Grapes
8. Spinach
9. Lettuce
10. Cucumbers
11. Blueberries
12. Potatoes

The Clean Fifteen (in order of least contamination)

1. Onions
2. Sweet Corn
3. Pineapples
4. Avocado
5. Cabbage
6. Sweet peas
7. Asparagus
8. Mangoes
9. Eggplant
10. Kiwi
11. Cantaloupe
12. Sweet potatoes
13. Grapefruit
14. Watermelon
15. Mushrooms

Avocado

…and that’s a wrap – WOW! Be sure to screen shot the dirty dozen and clean fifteen lists for next you visit your local grocery store – or you can use this information to inspire a fresh change, and find a Good Food Club/Organic Drop off/Collection food system (such as Think Organic) in your area. I’m finally in the groove of ordering all my animal products (dairy/meat etc.) from local farmers and so bub number 3 is in for a treat.

Please don’t feel overwhelmed by all this info – one small change is how everyone starts, and often leads to the next small change and before you know it, life is looking a little different. Encourage the change, prioritize and go for it! Good Luck.

A HUGE HUGE thank you to Deidre and the Nutripaeds Team. They are fantastic and so inspiring! Visit them on Facebook here and online here and please give them some love.

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xxx

That uncomfortable work-in-progress feeling…

All pics in this post are a personal reminder to myself of life LIVED, before things were perfect (if they ever get there – which I doubt they will)…

There is a lyric in an All Sons and Daughters song which says ‘I need you, oh how I need you’ and while not everyone may share what I believe in (the song refers to needing Jesus), wow, at times I’m made SO aware of my failings, my weaknesses and my insecurities. And it’s a bit of a relief to admit, right?

EVER-DAY, by virtue of the fact that I’m a mom and a wife, I’m made fully aware (often it’s blinding) of my weaknesses. That’s what marriage and parenting will offer you. No doubt.

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So here we are, in our new home. We’re 7ish weeks away from welcoming our third child, and first daughter into our family. I’m so fortunate. Lovely home, great neighbourhood, beautiful healthy family, supportive and hands on parents, incredibly generous and thoughtful in-laws, friends who I still can’t believe are friends with ME (they are THAT awesome), health, ability, skill, means… And I’m mortifyingly unsatisfied (give me grace, I’m also 33 weeks pregnant and HYPER emotional/sensitive).

I’d choose skimmed walls, downlighting and Liberia coloured walls over a years supply of pre-cooked meals, dummies, wipes and the cutest Cotton On Baby gear out there. I’d choose an interior designer to redo my entire house than have babysitting offered to me free and at any given time. And I’d definitely choose a 15 hour labour over a 2 hour one if it meant someone would magically rip up our hideously stained carpet and replace it with something… ANYTHING! My poor husband is up at sparrow to get to work and home again at a decent time, and is often welcomed home by a ratty, exhausted, (quite possibly) sloppily dressed, pregnant princess asking (hinting) at if ‘we’ (we know it’s not a ‘we’) should paint this room, or skim that room, or replace the door handles here or move the shelves there or or or, and if we (‘we’) can do it RIGHT NOW. And if we’re honest, I’m not up for paint fumes, carrying heavy stuff or climbing onto things so one could consider me almost entirely useless. I make soup. And a lot of it. But I’m also very pregnant and the urge to NEST (which is REAL) has hit an all time high.

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So selfishly, I want to put EVERYTHING on pause, have life be perfect, and then we can all unpause and continue. Let’s do that shall we?

family shoot

But that’s not REAL life. That’s not how this works (and I want to burst into big blubbery sobs just typing that truth). My revelation? Aren’t we ALWAYS a work-in-progress? Be it in our careers, our weight or appearance, our home renovations (or upgrade or needing new linen or curtains or size bed or to have that slightly ‘nicer’ postal code), our marriage and parenting skill (or lack of), OR our desperation to be married or a parent. Are we not constantly working on our image or reputation or the impression we like to portray on social media? Goodness, it doesn’t always need to be flashy – I’m constantly challenged that I’m not giving enough back to my community, or helping at some non-profit. And so while I said I wouldn’t hang our most precious Vancouver artwork ‘until we get into our new house’ – that has now been shifted to ‘when our walls are flat’, and then ‘Liberia coloured’. Okay, then I’ll hang it up. It’s like never burning that scented candle which has now, I’m fairly certain, no scent left. Shame.

So here’s my challenge to you as I very reluctantly and painfully turn this around and stare it in the face myself. How do we live to our fullest, in this place of ‘not yet’. I see so many similarities in the life I stumble through in my faith, in my marriage, in my parenting, in my wanting to achieve. How can we find genuine fulfilment in the undone, the imperfect? It’s a good question, huh? Dare to offer any suggestions?

Snow

I am a textbook work-in-progress. I think we all are. And I think creating the image that we have it all together is not only brutally unhelpful for those struggling, but, is a big fat lie. Hunger itself is a symptom of knowing we are not self-sustainable. Dirt (as in dust and mould and all other frustrating and gross unstoppable forces) will always be there. Like split ends after a fresh hair cut. We cannot control everything… please, I can barely control my kids without the threat of erasing ‘Blaze and the Monster Machines’, Saturday morning pancakes, or some form of sugar.

And it’s okay. You’re doing okay. Let’s be in this crazy uncomfortable place together, and allow it to be okay, to live in the mess, and the dirt, and the celebration, and the sorrow, and the joy of our very beautiful reality.

And hold me to hanging that artwork…

kids standing on beach

It’s not about us…

I love my kids. I love, love, LOOOOVE them. I want to squish them until they pop and hold them tight so they don’t grow up. I want to hear them laugh, be child-like, climb trees, run through sprinklers, mess chocolate all over their faces, learn, discover, explore, adventure and I want to plan their next birthday party (yes, even though I just said I didn’t want them to grow up – you know what I mean), just like the majority of moms out there. Recently I was made aware of this GREAT campaign #carseatfullstop – raising awareness of the importance and car seat safety, and so I’m adding my voice to the many other bloggers and moms out there who care deeply…

Maybe you’re like me, and from the time you first had littlies, it’s been a pretty automatic move to strap your kids in. It becomes second nature like putting on their nappies or tying their shoelaces. And yes, absolutely, it totally infuriates me when I see kids who have not been safely buckled in. First I get all ragey and flap my arms and hoot my horn and then clam down, breathe and pray those little lives make it to their destination safely.

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And then yesterday, I read this post about a young boy in the States who, only 2 weeks ago, wriggled out of his car seat and was in an accident, and didn’t make it. It is one of those posts which you want to stop reading, because it is nothing less than utterly heartbreaking and completely soul destroying, but your eyes won’t let you. And while, with the launch of this campaign, there is SO much amazing awareness, access to statistics, encouragement and valid rebuke around this topic, here is what I have been thinking about recently:

It is not about you (me).

It is not about you not making the mistake on the road. While we like to think we’re in control of most things, we really aren’t. We can’t control the natural disaster, sleepy or drunk driver, or the innocent yet flawed human causing a total accident. We may not be in the wrong, but that doesn’t mean we can stop it from happening.

It is not about convenience. It’s about safety never taking a holiday. It is about taking those few minutes to secure the harness. It’s not about ‘just down the street’ or ‘just around the corner’. It is also not like you have to run around the car 12 times and do 30 push ups before you are allowed to thread their arms through the straps and buckle them in.

And lastly, it is not just not about you, but it IS about them. Little lives that often aren’t heard (except maybe for the screaming of infants). Innocent lives, entirely dependant on forward thinking parents. Wow, the God-given role of watching and caring for these little lives is huge.


Maybe you’ve never even imaged the devastation that can occur from car seat neglect. If you give it a moments thought, I’m sure like many of us, the horror is paralysing. Awareness, awareness, awareness. Let’s raise awareness. I pray that everyone reading this will never experience the kind of unimaginable pain car seat neglect can bring.

Thanks to Mandy and her Team, there is page after page of inspiring reading around this topic. Browse it here and help save a life. And heartache, regret and brokenness.

Let’s be better, and do better.

xxx

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