Category Archives: Thoughts

Because you O’s must know…

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I’m not quite sure what we did to gain such outrageously awesome community. Across the world, we’ve found the most insanely hip, trendy, huge-hearted, thoughtful and good looking (you know it) people who somehow, we managed to convince to love us and be friends with us. It’s a mystery.

Anyhoo, so, you o’s must know how RAD our people can be. Besides everyday friends who are worth more than their weight in gold, last night, as hubby and I went out to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary (that’s a whoooole ‘nother blog post coming soon), we had two friends (#friendswhoarefamily), just float in, take over all evening and nighttime/nightmare-time kid chores and crashed for the night in our spare room (spare room, play room, same thing…) and this morning we all woke up, drank coffee, made pancakes and spoke about deep stuff.

Which then caused me to be late for my next session of overwhelmingly generous friends who started the Whats App group ‘Debbie’s Freedom’ after a few venting sessions about life with 3 kids. They’d arranged to meet at the good old Scratch Patch at the Waterfront, where they were ready and rearing to take on my two boys, with tickets paid for and in hand, to give me some peace. I MEAN. Plan ‘take the boys‘ went slightly awry when poor Ryler fell fast asleep pre-scratch patch play (and you don’t e.v.e.r wake a sleeping wannabe-dinosaur), and so I slowly moseyed around the Waterfront with my youngest two, fast asleep, in the double stroller (with freshly pumped up wheels – WIN) where I managed to meander shops, post a card which had been in my bag for 6 weeks, grab a smoothie and even did a little Christmas shopping.



All this while Clay was rummaging through stones with one of his fave little friends, and eating ice cream, after which he even scored a bonus trip to Reptile World (which was not on the days agenda, but generous friends are like that).


Truth be told, it may never happen again: by the end of it, there was melted ice cream, crying, deflated balloons, a sulky child who had had so much fun why couldn’t he go on the big wheel?, a few collisions with strollers and strangers’ feet, a waking and hungry baby, and a super tired toddler who had fallen off the front of the stroller because I forgot he had perched there (my bad)… but those friends, THOSE FRIENDS.

I MEAN.

Who is your Village? If you don’t have one, build one. If you do have one, call them up right now and tell you love them. Because, these people. Wow. This is the same crew who brought us cooked suppers when Brea was born, who surround me on girls nights and make me laugh about how nutso life can be, and who are always on the other side of whats app, be it for advice on parenting and marriage, how to get wine out of a carpet, how we should think about #feesmustfall or the most recent droughts, which books to read and how to make homemade deodorant.

Those people. Your people. Generous people. People who think just a little further than themselves, to the other. Let’s be inspired to be like them.

Thanks my people.

Not to terrify you but…

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Sometimes I think that other moms must look at me all like “she’s so overboard on her stainless steel sippy cups, and her glass mason jars and her kids’ fabric snack bags, and her vegan nailpolish”, and sometimes, I wonder if I’m a little over the top myself. Then I read something like this (below) and I’m reminded that I’m NOT and that in fact, there is MORE I can do. Yes. I know. Because while, yeah, this requires extra thought, time, patience, and energy – I’m driven. I’m inspired, I want to do this.

kids sitting on beach

The world is changing (hellllooooo, Trump is in office?) and we are changing too. We are evolving, and not in the right way. We’ve all heard of BPA and phthalates and their dangers, but really… we don’t all have time to consider those things and their negative consequences with the millions of thoughts running through our heads on a minute by minute basis… It takes serious conviction and intentionality.

The more research I do, the more I learn, the more important it is. The way the world is changing is bringing with it terrifying truths such as hormone disruption in kids. Now, I could say that my journey towards green-ness came from my concern for the environment, but I’d be lying. It all happened after I had kids. And that is why THIS scares me so much.

Read the full article here – this calls for change.

Avoiding Hormone-Disrupting Substances is Crucial for Children and Adults Alike:

While young girls may show obvious signs of exposure to hormone-disrupting substances via early puberty, other signals are more insidious and may not show up until a disease is already present. Here are 11 measures you can implement right away to help protect yourself and your children from common toxic substances that could cause precocious puberty and other long-term health problems:

1. As much as possible, buy and eat organic produce and free-range, organic meats to reduce your exposure to added hormones, pesticides and fertilizers. Also avoid milk and other dairy products that contain the genetically engineered recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH or rBST)

2. Eat mostly raw, fresh foods (helllooooo paleo). Processed, prepackaged foods (of all kinds) are a major source of soy and chemicals such as BPA and phthalates.

3. Store your food and beverages in glass rather than plastic, and avoid using plastic wrap and canned foods (which are often lined with BPA-containing liners).

4. Use glass baby bottles and BPA-free sippy cups for your little ones. (I stick with glass or stainless steel).

5. Make sure your baby’s toys are BPA-free, such as pacifiers, teething rings and anything your child may be prone to suck on.

6. Only use natural cleaning products in your home to avoid phthalates. (You can even make them yourself).

7. Switch over to natural brands of toiletries such as shampoo, toothpaste, antiperspirants and cosmetics. The Environmental Working Group has a great safety guide to help you find personal care products that are free of phthalates, parabens and other potentially dangerous chemicals. BAHHHH!!! THIS! This is where so much of where my mind is at, and which is why I love Pure Beginnings so much.

8. Avoid using artificial air fresheners, dryer sheets, fabric softeners or other synthetic fragrances, many of which can also disrupt your hormone balance. (Stick with organic essential oils!)

9. Replace your non-stick pots and pans with ceramic or glass cookware.

10. When redoing your home, look for “green,” toxin-free alternatives in lieu of regular paint and vinyl floor coverings.

11. Replace your vinyl shower curtain with one made of fabric.

12. Avoid non-fermented soy, especially if you’re pregnant and in infant formula.

Theo Colburn’s book Our Stolen Future is a great source for further investigation as it identifies the numerous ways in which environmental pollutants are disrupting human reproductive patterns.

I’ll leave it right there. A LOT of food for thought. You don’t need to overhaul everything. Just pick a few which are manageable and go for it.

With love, from my family to yours xxx

I am exhausted

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Yes, it’s that time of year, yes it’s been a hectic one, yes we fell pregnant, bought a house, renovated, started a business and had a baby. So yes. I’m pretty tired.

This is me in the foetal position on my unmade bed, hiding from the rest of the family…

This past weekend we (I) reached semi breaking point. We have 3 utterly INCREDIBLE kids. Like, I adore them. With all of me. Every cell. BUT I’m also a normal human parent with my own dreams and desires and needs and they’re NOT about finding this.exact.piece of Lego, or making a hat with a button and a helicopter propeller and which propels you into the sky (I mean) or eating aaaaaanother piece of peanut butter toast after I made bovril by mistake. I’m soooooo tired of changing your nappy (Ryler) when I can verbally have a conversation with you about how great the potty is and how excited you are to use it, and please, for the love of all humanity, if I fall over your bike which is *not* supposed to be in the house ONE MORE TIME I will literally melt into a puddle on the floor. I don’t have spare batteries for that, please stop picking that scab on your face, and I think you’ve lost all our screwdrivers ‘fixing’ your own toys I have repeatedly asked you not to ‘fix’. I love your singing Clay but if Batman smells any more and Robin lays just ONE more egg… I’m going to implode.

So on Saturday, the crazy-o-meter was cranked up to max and I had to make some big decisions. My immune system has been on the blink since our 3rd arrived and I needed space from the noise, I needed an escape. After a go at the hub (which, let’s be honest, is what moms just need once in a while), and then a lovely un-shouty debrief of my current state of mental stability, I decided I was gonna take my smallest to my friends for a girls night. Daddy was gonna have a boys night with movies and popcorn and ice cream and chocolate (which they rocked), and I had wine and girly chats until midnight (which we rocked). We both got our kids to bed no problem and had a decent nights sleep.

Tummy time party at our girls sleepover…

What a calm, peaceful evening we both had – apart. I made my way home in the morning, to the boys screaming MOMMMMYYYY with open arms upon my arrival. Cute, but loud. Clay still in his jarmies and Ryler with an exploding nappy but whatevs – hubby was vacuuming. Go hubby. The welcome home was dear, but the chaos that then ensued put the maxed crazy-o-meter to shame. To SHAME. Our littlest wouldn’t settle with her dad and the boys sounded like they were playing, screaming, and singing joyfully through megaphones. Attached to amplifiers.

Both hubby and I looked at each other like ‘what the effffff is going on?’ “We had a great night” states hubby. I sigh and return with a “as did we”… Both of us were a little stumped at how the re-addition of only 2 of us, set the world ON FIRE. We also happened to have a wonderfully jam-packed afternoon planned (the eternal optimist in me), so much so that all 3 kids had fallen fast asleep before family tea, and they remained in la-la land the entire time. Hubby and I even snuck in a game of pool. It was like a date night, but at family tea.

All that to say, we got home, shattered (I even fell asleep in the car on the way home holding a jar of splashing kombucha and scoby), fed the kids toast (I couldn’t have been bothered to try feed them their ‘rainbow’), my mom bathed them and we sent them to bed. Right, so it turns out 3 kids is MANIC. Maaaaaaannnnniiiicccccc.

Even in admitting that, I wouldn’t change a thing. We have wonderful sleepers, adorable, considerate, kind, playful, adored and passionate children. But we feel it. I’m home with them, we don’t have a nanny, and I try go out drinking with my girlfriends as often as possible. But yes, this is trying.

So chip in here – please. How do you genuinely make this parenting gig work for you? And please don’t say ‘a hot candlelit bubble bath’ because I can still hear my kids screaming ‘maaaameee, where aaaaaare yooooou’ through the hollow unable-to-lock bathroom door.

How we’re kicking ass at saving water…

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So while pouring a bucket of water collected from our shower into our toilet cistern, hubby turns to me and says “I’m really proud of how much we’re thinking about this water thing”… Pat on the back KF’s.

We’ve taken the most recent water restrictions seriously. Lank seriously. Inspired by a post written by blogger Blessed Barrenness, and the post I wrote here when given 10L of water to use a day, I’ve been thinking a LOT more about how ignorant I’ve been to the ease of clean water however and whenever I want it, and how my thinking about all this needs to change, permanently. Ask my 4 year old about water availability – he’ll tell you all about our dam levels.

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Sure, we want to spend less money on water and not pay the hefty fee hike if we dare tiptoe above our threshold, but more-so, we want to play our part. It’s a bit like when you have a group project at school and that one slacker gets off scott-free, and all the other hard working students are irritated (and rightly frustrated). Let’s not be that lazy kid guys – let’s be better than that.

I like a challenge. Why else do you think I have 3 kids? But really, I do like a challenge, and now I have this internal competition with myself to see how little water I can use. It started off with collecting the initial cold (will-soon-turn-warm) shower water in a bucket and emptying it into our water dispenser in our fridge. It filled a 4.5L water dispenser. WHAT! Challenge accep-ted! (I’ve also been known to collect the water pooling at the bottom of the shower with my empty hands, to fill the bucket now living in our shower, ready for my next toilet flush. I told you. The challenge is on.)

save-water-save-life

So here’s what we have been, and what we are currently, doing… (armed with our borehole – to be used on stipulated days – as well as our grey water systems my handy hubby has recently installed)…

If it’s yellow let it mellow! If it’s brown flush it down: Yes I know, I’m having flash backs of my mission trip to Mozambique in 2006, and it can be super gross, but really. As soon as the toilet starts to reek like the public toilets on St. James Beach I grab that bucket and give it a gooooood flush. And then use a natural bathroom spray.

Bathing the kids: As much as I’d love to ignore bath time, and have any excuse to skip it and throw my kids straight into bed, they need a bath. Like need. I feel like I’m already constantly running after them with wet wipes in hand. So, we fill the bath with a minimal amount of water, wash wash wash, and out you get. We have taught the kids to then use their beach buckets to scoop up and throw the water on the grass. We’re teaching them to be water wise, and that somethings can be used twice.

Washing kids clothes: Do you ever just find so many clothes on the floor you scoop them up in an exhausted huff and throw them in the wash basket? Well I do, and actually, quite often, those clothes are not dirty. I’ve become more military about checking these clothes and I fold and put back those which don’t actually need a wash.

Showing: We have a new showering buddy. Our bucket. We fill it with that initial cold shower water, and then sit it on the shower floor and have it lap up the shower spray while we are showering. If I wash my hair, I intentionally ring out my wet hair into the bucket – try it – you will be AMAZED (and equally horrified) how much water it collects.

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Be intentional about cleaning/shampooing/teeth brushing: Turn off the water when soaping up, washing your hair or brushing your teeth. This clean drinking water does not fall from the sky. Okay, it does. But supply and demand guys. Supply and demand.

Use the ‘short cycle’ on your washing machine and the ‘eco’ setting on your dishwasher. I also, put my biggest tupperware in our kitchen sink and let it collect the used water when I’m washing fruit or veggies or rinsing something. When it fills, I take it out to the garden.

Fix leaky taps and don’t fill your pool (if you have one). I’m so addicted to water saving, when I find drinking glasses upon drinking glasses holding sips of water next to hubby’s side of the bed (or school water bottles), they are emptied onto our indoor pot plants, my hanging fennel or my 4th child, my hand-reared lemon tree. We genuinely try not throw a drop down a pipe that won’t land up somewhere beneficial.

Get a borehole for your garden, and install some grey-water systems.

What have I missed? Join in the challenge… and watch your wallet, and your country, benefit.

That 4th Trimester 

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Have you heard of the ‘4th Trimester’?

Whether you believe in it or not, through conversations, holistic thinking, HypnoBirthing classes, and general doula world stuff, it’s been something I’ve thought about and quite like the idea of. Basically, it is defined as the first 3 months of baby’s life post-birth when they are very newborn like. At this age these babies have very primal movements, sounds and needs. And this, being my 3rd baby, I’ve just completely absorbed the idea and held, cuddled, shushed and fed bubsy on demand. To me, whether you agree or not, you can’t go too wrong with all that baby lovin’ can you?

The transition from the womb to the world is a HUGE one. All senses are experiencing new things – no longer is there food on tap, gravity has taken effect, temperatures are new, as are sounds and strange tactile experiences. This is why skin to skin is so desperately encouraged after birth. These poor innocent newbies miss the heartbeat, the safety, the warm, snug, dark squishedness.

Off point, kinda: did you know that your nipples darken in pregnancy because babies see black and white initially, and so they can locate them better. They also release a smell similar to amniotic fluid to attract bub. Is the body just not un-believ-able? I mean!

A while back I popped into Granny Goose for a fun ‘Sleep Tight’ morning. Listen, free cupcakes and coffee will get me almost anywhere.



Occupational Therapist and co-creature of the Nuture One pillow, Jenny Spiro, gave us, a group of sleepy eyed (not really, but maybe) moms, some really good advice on newborn and infant sleep. Helpful, encouraging advice – unlike most unappreciated personal opinions and judgy ‘know-how’ books.

She created the Nurture One pillow (no affiliate link here guys – I’m just sharing some wisdom I heard that morning), specifically to mimic the post-birth sensory environment, making that 4th Trimester easier and helping your baby enjoy and thrive in his/her sleep. I dare you to find me a new mom who doesn’t want that?


Here are her top tips on INFANT SLEEP:

– Timing is everything. If you ‘catch the sleep wave’ at the right time, you win Mom of the Year, because learning your babies’ cues is doable but close to impossible (if you ask me).

– Don’t overstimulate the environment. No mobiles over cots. Keep colours and tones of the room clean and neutral.

– Don’t let them get overtired. Overtired leads to neediness which leads to a DIS-AS-TER.

– Put baby down in her bed bum first, then head (and always have your babies head be at the same level or higher than her body).

– It is okay for your baby to have a soft toy, dummy, soothing something to help keep her calm at night when you are not there.

– Co-sleeping/sleeping in her bed in your room, or sleeping in her own room blah blah blah is all just craaaazy controversial. Do what works for you, and what you feel is responsible, but think about whether the average cave women had nearby caves for their babies back in the day. Hmmm…

And a little bit of baby massage pre-sleep cant hurt…

Her experience as an OT led her to the creation of the Nurture One pillow. It was designed to mimic at the very least the tactile womb experience and to create the ideal sensory environment for the newborn. Many moms swear by it, and fortunately enough, a friend has lent me hers (I hadn’t heard of it until moving back to SA). Lucky bub!

So… how’s that sleep going for you guys? (Ha ha ha)

 

A Post Partum Hormone Inspired Post

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You all know about the 3rd day bluesy/post partum/milk-coming-in day? If you’ve had a baby, you probably know what I’m talking about. I know it well. With all three kids, this day was real. Real as. I was warned about how the tears might flow, for unexplained reasons and how it’s hard to get a handle on it, but how it is also beautiful and emotional and hard and possibly a little out of control. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feeler. I FEEL things. And so for me these days were full on. But I anticipated it.

What I had forgotten about, was the 1 week post baby endorphin high/low. Wow. Hormones man, they are HARD CORE. And so this past Friday it all came rushing back. I have to believe that for me the unknown of ‘going into labour’ has a lot to do with it – that hour by hour, reliving what went down exactly a week before, the ‘is this labour’ questioning, the call to the midwife/birth team, the drive to the hospital and the walking into (contraction-ing into) the delivery room… And then marking (and celebrating) the exact time of birth… Even the ‘settling into the quiet, safe, sacred space of your hospital room’… It all came flooding back.


And so after some tears trying to process this all with hubby, and some more tears upon messaging my midwife (and her always-beautiful replies), and some more tears in the shower (those are great hey?), hubby offered to take me back to where it all happened.

So last Friday at 6:30pm, we piled our new family of 5 into the car and went on our first official family adventure – back to the hospital where it all happened. Hubby pulled up at sunset, I hopped out the car with our 1 week old and paid the maternity ward a visit. And honestly… it was a bit random. Maybe I was expecting some ‘Hi Debbie, how are you, so lovely to see you again, would you like a coffee?!’ with the nurses I had befriended on my lone ranger (hubby-less) stay in the hospital. But it was random. I know, a little disappointing right?

Because it was on the way home, while listening to the CD we played when we brought all the kids home from the hospital, that it dawned on me. While place is significant, and always will be, PEOPLE are where it’s at.


It was my midwife (a hero of a woman, who, after being in her care makes me want to sign up for midwifery school immediately), who loved me, empowered me, lead me, and in return allowed me to lead in birth. It was my husband, who held my hand through it all, listened to my needs, encouraged encouraged encouraged, watched, witnessed, and believed I could birth our daughter into the world with grace and dignity. It was our doula, who was thinking about what I couldn’t think about at that time, whose mind was always on what I needed next, and who carried the journey of labour with me. And our friend and photographer, who I’m SOOO glad was there, to celebrate with us, to capture, to document the real life miracle that is birth (for which I am eternally grateful and will treasure the pictures forever!)


It was them. Sure, I loved my quiet, safe hospital stay with wonderfully supportive nursing staff. But that Team. Oh that Team.


They gave me courage, they believed, they knew, they guided, they inspired and they empowered me (in ones most vulnerable state), to do this crazy, beautiful, natural, wonderful, hard, tiring, unforgettable and mysterious thing called birth.

For you, Susan, Theran, Thato and Rebecca. Thank you. May we all do for each other in day to day life, what you did for me in Delivery Room 3, 16 September 2016.

All pics: Love Made Visible

My Heart on Silk

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Something that has struck me recently, is how significant each person’s individual story can be. Story. It is powerful.


Chatting with my midwife a couple days ago, we were talking about how resilient we are, and how fragile we are at the very same time. And it’s so true. Our outlooks, attitudes, emotions and reactions often come down to a sequence of tiny little things, over years, weaved together to form our lives. And these things matter, often even defining us.

Having just celebrated my third baby (and possibly the surge of endorphins and surge of emotion that automatically comes with it) has made me think about this even more so. Our third child (I literally cannot believe I have three) was born 5 days ago, and oh wow, I could have a million more. These tiny little lives. They take your breath away. They consume our hearts in ways we could never imagine. I am absolutely smitten, and overcome by wonder and joy.


Recently I came across this gorgeous company, which shares this same sentiment and heart. And since I love all things local (they really are situated around the corner from me) and lekker, I wanted to share them with you – introducing Symbols on Silk.

We were SO fortunate to have Symbols on Silk join in the celebration of our newest family member by generously gifting me with a set of Bling Babies, representing each of my children. Ahhhh melt! How lucky am I? And like I said earlier, these tiny little (loud, crazy, sometimes drive-me-up-the-wall) blessings are my everything.


Symbols on Silk was founded in 2010 by passionate wife, mother (and now gushing grandmother) Linda Schneider, and which comprises of beautifully simple sterling silver designs, strung on a silk thread and packaged with a meaningful, and inspirational message. Each piece has been individually designed with heart in mind – the message chosen MEANINGFUL for its’ wearer. There are over 100 designs in the range (including both necklaces and bracelets) with the option of acquiring each charm in Silver, Gold or Rose Gold dipped. The range is locally manufactured in Cape Town, South Africa, and thanks to Linda’s two incredible jewellery ‘craftswomen’, each design is made with care. Each tells a story. 

symbol-on-model

And now, I have the privilege of being able to wear my little ones ‘close to my heart’… just as the message says. 

Day in and day out, throughout all of life’s experiences, from the blissful sublime to the downright difficult, we learn from it all. From the struggles, the joys, the waiting, the hopes and the celebrations. Symbols on Silk allows us to share these journeys and these experiences, without words.

But it doesn’t stop there. Symbols on Silk cares and speaks to the stories of not only their clients, but their communities as well. I love that as a company, a percentage of the proceeds from all Symbols on Silk sales is used to supply food parcels to the Yiza Ekhaya Soup Kitchen in Khayelitsha, and R10.00 from the sale of each Snowflake necklace or bracelet is donated to the Rebekah Ryan trust. These small acts change stories.

Take a peek at their range online here, and find what speaks to you.

Follow Symbols on Silk by joining their Facebook page, or shop online here.

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Picture Credit: Brene Brown, Love Made Visible (birth picture), Symbols on Silk Website. 

One Step to Reducing Chemicals on your Skin

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With all the talk around chemicals and our exposure to them, I’ve had to take time to rethink what I do automatically, every day, without thinking, and if it’s a good or bad move on my part, especially during pregnancy. You know that saying ‘Every time you eat or drink you are either feeding a disease or fighting it’… well I think the same rings true for what we put ONTO our body.

every-time-you-eat-or-drink

One of my New Years Resolutions for this year was to find homemade recipes for all the make up I use and l have it be all natural by 31st December 2016. Then I got pregnant, so let’s not be holding me to all that right now. I used to make my own mascara in Vancouver (with raw egg yolk – not even kidding!), and it was awesome, and EASY, but I feel like I now need a bar fridge in my bathroom to store all my homemade products. Regardless of my lack of research into natural make up over the course of this year, I do stop and think, and pick my battles wisely.

One of these automatic, sub-conscious things I do each day, is wash myself in the shower. Having reconsidered what I use on the kids, it was only appropriate that I reconsidered what I used on myself (and hubby, who really just grabs whatever I put in the shower for us to use). I tried making homemade soaps, but the ingredient list got too long and I always found them a tad oily, and arghhhh, was just never happy with it. I prefer a good (foamy) scrub using a liquid gel, and once I tried out Pure Beginnings’ Body Wash with Organic Baobab and Ylang Ylang I was sold. There is a fair amount of exposure around their baby and kids ranges, and so has been great to see their Organic Care range expand over the years, with products such as these.

organic-care

Small steps guys, small steps. You don’t need to change EVERYTHING you use in one huge tidal wave motion. Small changes that can be maintained are where it’s at. I love how this body wash foams (unlike castille soap, which I really like, but have found some frustrations with), and how it smells and how clean it makes me feel. Also, we love a pump bottle – quantity control. It really can last much longer than squeezy bottles. I’ve even let some friends use it (I’m generous like that :)) and while initially critical, they’ve been pleasantly surprised and well impressed!

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“Suitable for the whole family, this natural SLS-free body wash infused with community sourced organic Baobab fruit extract will leave skin feeling soft and clean. The natural citrus and ylang ylang fragrance combine to make bath and shower time a delightful experience”. 

Also, don’t be fooled. This is a bigger issue than you might think. This natural body wash is not just eliminating the BAD stuff (SLS, parabens, etc.) but it is using and introducing the GOOD stuff.

It optimises environment for beneficial microbes:

  • Includes inulin, a prebiotic, to create a healthy micro-climate for beneficial bacteria.
  • pH balanced to avoid stressing the skin.
  • Gentle surfactants to ensure natural skin oils and beneficial microbes are not stripped and skin is not compromised.

It defends agains environmental stress:

  • Baobab Fruit Extract and Vitamin E, both strong anti-oxidants, fight free radical damage from pollution, the sun and the environment.

It hydrates and nourishes:

  • Natural plant oils such as Jojoba, Coconut, Argan and Sunflower oil deliver essential fatty acids to hydrate and nourish.
  • Inulin provides moisturising properties.

It soothes and calms:

    • Aloe Vera acts as a natural anti-inflammatory to soothe irritation and calm the skin.

And so just like that you have more than enough reasons to stop, rethink, and reconsider what you are putting on your skin each day, reduce the amount of synthetic chemicals you are exposing yourself to and be properly awesome at the same time.

If you want more inspiration, and have conquered step one by changing your body wash, why not go wild and rethink your toothpaste, deo, shaving cream and hair care?

My Experience with HypnoBirthing

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I toyed for ages whether or not I should sign up for a HypnoBirthing® class, and then I just did. I mean, this was my 3rd pregnancy, I’d done all the prenatal stuff overseas, attended the breastfeeding lectures, the home birth info evenings, and had witnessed and assisted at many births, so did I need it? Gah! I tend to overthink these things, so I just jumped, which I guess is the best way to do stuff sometimes.

Like a number of people I’ve chatted to, I was a little put off (maybe confused is a better word) by the name, HypnoBirthing®. Kim from Beautifully Born suggested I come for the first week and if it wasn’t up my alley, I could duck and never return. Sounded like a sweet deal to me… of course she knew I’d fall in love with the concept and be itching to return – which I was.

beautifully-born

Kim is the HypnoBirthing® Faculty Member, Regional Liaison, Practitioner trainer for South Africa, and Founder and Owner of Beautifully Born HypnoBirthing® – so you must know she knows her stuff. When you’re dealing in the potentially ‘airy fairy side’ of all this hippie birthing goodness, you want someone legit. Kim is legit.

TIME WILL TELL (ha ha ha) if my HypnoBirthing® training will be effective or not (look out for THAT blog post!) but I thought pre-birth, let me inform you what HypnoBirthing® is all about… well, what I understood it be.

“I’ve been a Labor & Birthing nurse for 17 years; and after attending HypnoBirthings,  I’ll never look at birth in the same light. It’s incredible.”
– Traveling Nurse, Judy Richardson, RN

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What is HypnoBirthing®?

HypnoBirthing® is a tried and proven method that guides and prepares a woman in giving birth in a peaceful and extraordinarily beautiful manner. It is a program that considers the psychological, as well as the physical, well-being of the mother, her birth partner, and the newborn, independent of context, whether that be in the quiet of a home, a hospital, or a birth center.

The HypnoBirthing® program is built around an educational process that includes special breathing, relaxation, visualization, meditative practice, attention to nutrition and positive body toning. Most importantly it fosters an air of mutual respect for the birthing family, as well as the health-care provider in a traditional health-care system or an alternative setting. (source)

The HypnoBirthing®  Premise

For me, a LOT of this made sense. Especially experiencing two different birthing cultures, in South Africa and Canada.pink-lineFor most of their lives, women have been inundated with the negative stories of other women’s birth experiences. Everyone, from their mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends, and even strangers, wants to tell them the horrors of giving birth. They have been conditioned to believe that excruciating pain is associated with labor; and because of this, women today hold an unprecedented fear of giving birth. This extreme fear causes their bodies to become tense, and that tension prohibits their bodies from easily performing a normal physiological function. The result is exactly what they feared most–long, painful birthing or unnecessary intervention.

People who are drawn to HypnoBirthing® have long been searching for a way to give birth confidently and as calmly, safely, and gently as possible, whether they have chosen to birth in a hospital, a birthing center, or at home. Until HypnoBirthing®, this kind of birthing almost seemed unattainable for the general population.

Through a very simple program of self-hypnosis and education, healthy, low-risk women, as well as women who need medical assistance because of special circumstances, learn to dismiss fear-based stories, misinformation, and birthing myths; and they are helped to see birth as normal. They learn to trust that their bodies know how to bring their babies into the world in the calm and gentle way that Nature intended. (source)pink-lineNot all HypnoBirthing is the same. Make sure you find a legit teacher, teaching the Marie Mongan Method.

Got it? Easy peasy, right? Ha. There are more details at the very bottom, but for the majority of you, I think you’re reading this to find out what I (the average human) thought of the class. I’ll put it in bullet point for you:

  • Liberating and Empowering – reminding me that natural childbirth is just that, natural. Possible. Beautiful. Doable.
  • I understood it as finding a state of relaxed-ness where your body can do what it was designed to do.
  • The importance of understanding the fear – tension – pain cycle and how it can inhibit birth.
  • Learning about the uterus’ muscles and what your body is doing when the beautiful, gentle and shy hormone Oxytocin leads the way…
  • Rephrasing birth/labour lingo (this was interesting, and refreshing).
  • Remembering the importance of positive thinking, the role of the subconscious, visualization and affirmations.
  • Some of the mild hypnosis (deep relaxation) stuff was a bit out-there, and I’m nervous I might struggle without the lead of someone like Kim, but I’m very keen to give it a go and see how it all plays out.

Practically, here’s what I’ve been doing over the last 5 weeks: Reading the book (NB!), listening to the Rainbow Relaxation track on my phone every night (I fall asleep after about 20 seconds), and listening to positive birth affirmations in the car. Hubby has been practising the light touch massage (like a back tickle – so good!) and I’ve been rehearsing my 3 different types of breathing: calm, surge and birth breathing.

birth-affirmations

Honestly, I could ramble on and on and on about this (ask our Friday night dinner friends). Pre-birth, I would recommend this course to anyone who is inclined towards a natural labour (not augmented) and birth and is wanting to be instructed as to how to think about birth differently – with a fresh, new mindset, and NOT one where you feel like you’re out of control and are being filmed for the next horror movie.

Now tell me, have you tried HypnoBirthing? Did it help? What worked, what didn’t? Talk to me… but really… I need to implement this stuff within days. Yeeeee…

hypnobirthing

I’m sure you have questions. Some of them might be answered here. If you are playing with the idea of attending a class, chat to Kim. You can contact Beautifully Born online and on Facebook.

The Deets: HypnoBirthing® Classes are taught in a format of five, 2 1/2-hour classes.

You will be provided with the official HypnoBirthing® book, Rainbow relaxation CD and all course materials. Refreshments will be provided during classes.

Course prices

  • The cost per couple for a group course is R1950.
  • There are private courses available in your own home or at a practitioner’s venue – contact Kim to find out about your nearest practitioner, prices and availability

Payment terms for all courses can be arranged, please ask your practitioner.

Here is the outline as to what is covered:

Week 1 – Building A Positive Expectancy

Introduction to the remarkable HypnoBirthing® philosophy
The History of Women and Birthing
Why and how you can have an easier, more comfortable, and safer birthing
How Nature perfectly designed women’s bodies to birth
How to assist, rather than resist, your natural birthing instincts
The vocabulary for calm and gentle birthing
Visualizing gentle births by viewing beautiful birthing videos.

Week 2 – Falling in Love with Your Baby/Preparing Mind & Body

The remarkable mind of your newborn baby—Prenatal bonding techniques
Rapid and instant self-relaxation techniques and deepening techniques
Breathing techniques for labor and birthing
Hypnotic relaxation and visualization
Selecting the right care provider
The Birth companion’s role in birthing
Preparing your body for birthing with massage and toning.

Week 3 – Getting Ready to Welcome your Baby

Preparing Birth Preference Sheets
Preparing the Body for Birthing
Light Touch Labor Massage
Your body working for and with you
Avoiding artificial induction and achieving a natural start to labor
Releasing negative emotions, fears and limiting thoughts.

Week 4 – An Overview of Birthing – A Labor of Love

Onset of Labor – Thinning and Opening Phase
Birth explained simply
Settling in at the hospital or birthing center
Preparing for home birth – or baby’s choice of birth
As labor moves along – passing time through labor
Hallmarks of labor
If labor rests or slows – Companion’s  prompts and activities
As labor advances – birthing with your baby
Protecting the natural birthing experience
Birth rehearsal imagery.

Week 5 – Birth, Breathing Love, Bringing Life

Moving into birthing
Positions for descent and birthing
Breathing baby down to birth
Baby moves to the breast
Family bonding with your baby.

Image credit: andrewmicahornoch.tumblr.com, mombodystroll.com, www.beautifullyborn.co.za, https://us.hypnobirthing.com.

Meeting in the Doctor’s Waiting Room

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Yesterday I took our eldest for a follow up appointment at our ophthalmologist. I’ve written a little about his story here but yesterday I anticipated a fairly similar outcome to our usual checkup. But the appointment was unusually, and beautifully hopeful. More on that later…

I was running a little late after dropping our youngest at my in-laws and rushed in at 2:02pm (our appointment was for 2 – and I hate being late). As I dashed in, a father snuck in the door behind me holding his young daughter. She was gorgeous, and could not have been older than 2 and a half. I could see immediately (from my limited experience) that she had a squint, even though I think most would probably not notice it. The receptionist looked at us both and requested ‘last name?’ to which I replied ‘Knighton-Fitt’ and so she turned to the gentleman and said, ‘Oh, so this is your first appointment?’ My heart broke as I remembered our first appointment, and I had such sympathy imagining the journey he was about to begin.

As the dad took the clipboard from the receptionist and got ready to recall their medical history on paper, I wanted to throw my arms around them and give them both a huge hug and tell them everything would be okay, but it’s easy to say that looking back.

cuuute pic of clay

There were so many perfect moments this afternoon in that doctors room. The fact that Clay couldn’t fit on my (now enormous) lap meant that I had to pop him on the BIG chair alone and watch him interact with our doctor himself. He would never had done that even 6 months ago. He answered the questions politely and watched the red ball, the cotton bud and the torch so obediently. He listened to everything the doctor said, and whispered the correct answers to all eye tests. His eyes had locked into place (NO.MORE.SQUINT), and his eyes were excellent, individually, both in strength and crisp clarity. ‘Proud mama’ doesn’t begin to describe it.

At the time of the 3D test, I held my breath. This was what we had no idea what to expect. While our 2 operations had corrected some mechanical issues, the development of 3D was never a certainty. His last appointment 3 months ago showed he had no 3D vision. (IE: He can kick a ball and do everything any kid with 20/20 vision can do, but give him a set of 3D glasses for a movie and it wouldn’t mean a thing to him. This can have larger consequences later on when it comes to future career choices and sports etc.). If you don’t develop this kind of 3D by age 4, chances are you might never develop it. Clayden has just turned 4.

So as he looked through the 3D glasses into the book and tried to grab the fly’s wings (which should stand up from the page) he grabbed… the… air. Our Dr looked at me with excitement and I knew it was good. If he had grabbed the page it would have indicated that his 3D was still non existent. Watching him digging his chubby innocent little fingers under the ‘wing’ made my heart leap and I had to grit my teeth to stop myself from bursting into tears. It was all such such such good news. After a 2yr long journey with Clay’s acquired esotropia, across 2 countries, with the help of 2 optometrists, 2 ophthalmologists, 2 operations, and a VILLAGE of support, prayer and a lot of money  (and tears) spent, this is what we’ve been waiting for. Our first appointment with ‘everything looks perfect’. (The only thing better is if we were to phase out the glasses completely, but one step at a time – only time will tell – and he is so stinking cute in his glasses, I think I’d miss them).

IMG_7359

Eye Operation April 2015. 

As we left (I could have hugged our doc – but it would have been pretty random), I saw the dad and his daughter replace us in his room. One family out, another one in. Just like that. With a heavy camaraderie-like heart, I watched them start the journey we were (praise God) ending.

Clay eating ice cream

So many of my latest, more personal blog posts have been about kindness and awareness. This one is no different. To think we are all on our own personal, raw, delicate, challenging, sensitive and day-by-day journeys, needs to be recognised. People need to be SEEN. To that family who are beginning the journey correcting eye issues, to the family who have lost a baby that no one knows about, to the family who is struggling with infertility, or severe anxiety, or self-hate or a scary diagnosis. None of us have our stuff together (maybe on the outside it might look like it), so let’s all just be a little more sensitive and aware.

As our awesome (deeply missed and longed for) church in Vancouver used to say each time we met, “we are a community of Hope and Struggle”… and let’s allow ourselves to be just that.