One Saturday morning I was getting things ‘done’ with my 3yr old pottering about while my husband and youngest slept. I was doing the random stuff, the sorting and tidying kind, and while feeling somewhat distracted by my child’s needs, I found a colouring in book that I overemphasized the awesomeness of to try and distract him so that I could continue doing my thing.
I managed to start colouring in a frog ‘on his behalf’ (as you do), ready for him to take over. “You continue coloring this buddy”, I encouraged. “No mommy, you colour it”. “Ahh, sorry buddy, I have – ” and I stopped myself. Because I was about to say “I have things to do.”
I struggle with this all.the.time. I’m such a do-er. And the podcast I was listening to the other day by our friends at Artisan reminded me how we naturally tend to do what we love doing. I like being busy. I like feeling productive. And while I LOVE (adore) my kids, an hour on the floor colouring is HARD for me. Who am I kidding… 10min on the floor colouring is hard work for me. The reading of the 8th story at bedtime is exhausting, and honestly I rush through it. All the while knowing my days of being invited to cuddle are numbered.
All this calls for sacrifice. Arghhhh. The dying to self kind. Something we’re not drawn to naturally.
(This is so evident in parenthood, but I think it spills over into anything. Working too much overtime for a bosses approval, earning more money to feel more powerful or validated, the accumulation of ‘things’ to feel successful).
I’m all about balance, but if I’m honest, I’m an awfully selfish person by nature. I hide chocolates I’ve bought from my husband so I don’t have to share, sneak in a secret brekkie with my friend Nats after our suuuuuuperlong (emphasis added) early morning runs and even being an (extreme) extrovert by nature, I want my own quiet time. I want to go for drinks with my girls, and watch TV series in bed uninterrupted with my husband. I want to make good food with friends and go for a jog when I wish. I want to grab a coffee and blog. I want to create natural products while listening to the latest Sons & Daughters album. I want to make my garden pretty, plant new herbs and spring clean (often). I want to be productive. Soooo, building a block tower with my 1.5yr old for the gazillionth time (especially when he’s not really paying attention) feels hard.
I’m doing my best to say ‘yes’ more often. Within reason. I know full well that healthy mom/dad = healthy family and so I’m trying to give of myself, knowing I need to recharge and try to figure out exactly what that looks like for me.
With all that said, here are my top tips on how to bring about balance and diminish the guilt:
1. Create Rhythms: In our home, Friday nights are homemade pizza nights and Saturday mornings are pancake breakfasts mornings. (Saturday mornings were Park Run mornings but somehow we morphed it into pancakes instead – go figure.) We’re also trying to get the kids amped on washing our cars on Sundays. Hmmm… not as easy. I’m sure once they realize it’s something normal people pay for, an exchange of money will be involved.
2. Encourage Traditions: Be it on birthdays, anniversaries or the beginning of school holidays, have ‘your thing’ that is a constant. Maybe the first day of school holidays you pull out the annual pass to the Aquarium, hit the beach, or make a big ice cream, waffle and milkshake brekkie. Since our kids are Canadian, we make an effort to celebrate Canada Day and Canadian Thanksgiving (with some good old salmon, poutine and maple syrup ‘eh?).
3. Prioritize Values: Eat together at the dining room table, or go for a short walk around the neighbourhood just before dinner. What are you doing already that you can use to incorporate your family and have it be meaningful (such as time together eating or exercising)?
4. Play: Play ‘rough and tumble’ on the bed (thanks husband), or hide and seek in the house. Lie on the lounge floor and let your kids roll over you (for when you’re feeling particularly uninspired orrrrrr pregnant with your second and have as much energy as a kid post sugar-crash). Play sport, or dress up, or in the garden outside. Play with water, chalk, paint, on a trampoline or on a home-drawn hopscotch pattern on the ground. Play by baking – and reward yourself with edible treats (obviously).
5. Try put your phone down (and then give yourself time to use it!): Argh, I’m SO bad at this, but I recently read this article and it opened my eyes right up! WOWZER. Make certain rooms in your house or times of the day ‘NO PHONE’ rooms/times.
‘Starting your day by checking the phone is like flipping a switch from peace to productivity … from loving nurturer to grumpy manager … from present to absent. Reaching for the phone takes you out of your cozy pajamas-clad world and catapults you into the fast-paced, information overloaded world. Once your mind leaves your loved ones and fixates on all the things you need to do, it’s hard to come back—so hard to come back’. (Hands Free Mama)
6. Get the kids to bed early and then RE-LAX:You’ve kicked ass, or maybe not, but it’s done and dusted. Feet up, glass of wine, slab of chocolate, long chat with your bestie, put on a movie, eat comfort food, think, sing, write, read.
7. Get Away: Most people know someone who has a little cabin in the mountains or a timeshare needing to be used up, some extra flyer miles or a camp site begging for a bonfire. Do what you can find these avenues and take time away. It absolutely doesn’t need to cost you the earth. It shouldn’t. And if you can’t think of anywhere to go and can’t muster up the energy for the mile long list of to-do’s before departure, then borrow a tent and camp out in your back garden (or lounge if you don’t have a garden).
Of the 7 suggestions, grab one or two things that stick out and that you know you can try implement without it completely killing your mojo and go for it. And, can I just say, life is hard. Life was not meant to be done alone. There is DEPTH and TRUTH to ‘being a Village’ and Ubuntu theology. We’re in this together. And you’re doing alright.
I’m stiiiiiill sick. Argh man, it’s been too long and I’m just not on top of it. So, after devouring half a slab of chocolate earlier in despair, I decided I needed to up my attitude and EAT my way back to health… (because who doesn’t love eating). Starting with greens.
So I dashed off to the shops and stocked up on EVERY fruit and veg known to mankind (okay, you know I’m exaggerating), but I loaded up (including a 5kg pocket of oranges) and came home ready to propel this bod back to health.
Since my kids love making smoothies/juicing, it’s a family affair. No extra energy needed (of which I currently have a limited supply).
Green ‘GET ME BACK TO HEALTH’ Kale Smoothie:
– 5 leaves of kale (de-stemmed)
– 2 apples (chopped)
– 1 small pineapple (chopped)
– 2 oranges (de-skinned. Bring on the Vit C)
– half a cucumber (peeled)
– cup of water (to get that blending going)
– half a tray of ice cubes (for the chilled effect)
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. So this December, (God-willing) she will be 10 years cancer free. While it terrifies me to think back to Christmas 2005, I am filled with immense gratitude that she is still with us, and that she is healthy. So many friends I know have not had the same experience.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. So let’s be aware. As someone in the direct line of breast cancer I know I need to take this stuff seriously.
Here’s some info to jog our memories this October:
Every person should know the symptoms and signs of breast cancer, and any time an abnormality is discovered, it should be investigated by a healthcare professional.
Most people who have breast cancer symptoms and signs will initially notice only one or two, and the presence of these symptoms and signs do not automatically mean that you have breast cancer.
By performing monthly breast self-exams, you will be able to more easily identify any changes in your breast. Be sure to talk to your healthcare professional if you notice anything unusual.
Facts About Breast Cancer:
Every year, one in 29 women is diagnosed with breast cancer in South Africa.
During the ‘80s and early ‘90s, cancer of the cervix was the leading cancer in South African females; however, breast cancer has overtaken cervical cancer.
It is now the most common cancer in women, with the most cases in white and Asian females, then mixed-race and least common in black populations. (Source: Discovery Health)
Once a Month:
Adult women of all ages are encouraged to perform breast self-exams at least once a month. Johns Hopkins Medical Center states,
“Forty percent of diagnosed breast cancers are detected by women who feel a lump, so establishing a regular breast self-exam is very important.”
While mammograms can help you to detect cancer before you can feel a lump, breast self-exams help you to be familiar with how your breasts look and feel so you can alert your healthcare professional if there are any changes. Mammograms are recommended annually for women over the age of 40.
Can I Rely On Breast Self-Exams Alone To Be Sure I Am Breast Cancer Free?
Mammography can detect tumors before they can be felt, so screening is key for early detection. But when combined with regular medical care and appropriate guideline-recommended mammography, breast self-exams can help women know what is normal for them so they can report any changes to their healthcare provider.
If you find a lump, schedule an appointment with your doctor, but don’t panic — 8 out of 10 lumps are not cancerous. For additional peace of mind, call your doctor whenever you have concerns.
A Change In How The Breast Or Nipple Feels
Nipple tenderness or a lump or thickening in or near the breast or underarm area
A change in the skin texture or an enlargement of pores in the skin of the breast (some describe this as similar to an orange peel’s texture)
A lump in the breast (It’s important to remember that all lumps should be investigated by a healthcare professional, but not all lumps are cancerous).
A Change In The Breast Or Nipple Appearance
Any unexplained change in the size or shape of the breast
Dimpling anywhere on the breast
Unexplained swelling of the breast (especially if on one side only)
Unexplained shrinkage of the breast (especially if on one side only)
Recent asymmetry of the breasts. (Although it is common for women to have one breast that is slightly larger than the other, if the onset of asymmetry is recent, it should be checked)
Nipple that is turned slightly inward or inverted
Skin of the breast, areola, or nipple that becomes scaly, red, or swollen or may have ridges or pitting resembling the skin of an orange.
Any Nipple Discharge—Particularly Clear Discharge Or Bloody Discharge.
It is also important to note that a milky discharge that is present when a woman is not breastfeeding should be checked by her doctor, although it is not linked with breast cancer.
If I have some symptoms, is it likely to be cancer?
Most often, these symptoms are not due to cancer, but any breast cancer symptom you notice should be investigated as soon as it is discovered. If you have any of these symptoms, you should tell your healthcare provider so that the problem can be diagnosed and treated.
If I have no symptoms, should I assume I do not have cancer?
Although there’s no need to worry, regular screenings are always important. Your doctor can check for breast cancer before you have any noticeable symptoms. During your office visit, your doctor will ask about your personal and family medical history and perform a physical examination. In addition, your doctor may order one or more imaging tests, such as a mammogram.
How Should A Breast Self-Exam Be Performed?
1) In the Shower
Using the pads of your fingers, move around your entire breast in a circular pattern moving from the outside to the center, checking the entire breast and armpit area. Check both breasts each month feeling for any lump, thickening, or hardened knot. Notice any changes and get lumps evaluated by your healthcare provider.
2) In Front of a Mirror
Visually inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead.
Look for any changes in the contour, any swelling, or dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Next, rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women’s breasts do, so look for any dimpling, puckering, or changes, particularly on one side.
3) Lying Down
When lying down, the breast tissue spreads out evenly along the chest wall. Place a pillow under your right shoulder and your right arm behind your head. Using your left hand, move the pads of your fingers around your right breast gently in small circular motions covering the entire breast area and armpit.
Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.
What Can I Do To Reduce My Risk Of Breast Cancer?
Although you cannot prevent cancer, some habits that can help reduce your risk are:
Maintain a healthy weight
Stay physically active
Eat fruits and vegetables
Do not smoke
Limit alcohol consumption
You can find support groups in South African here.
It feels like we went overseas, came back, and everything was different. BOS iced tea is like the new ‘it’ drink and is available in every corner cafe and, much to my delight, Pure Beginnings Organic Skincare is available… every-where!
Having been attacked by mozzies upon our return to SA in mid-summer, I sent my hubby out to find a natural mozzie repellent, and voia la – we were officially introduced to the Pure Beginnings brand.
As with all reviews, there is a plethora of overly-shmoozy things I could say about Pure Beginnings. I could say I love them because they’re EcoCert certified (so they cannot include any baddies such as propylene glycol/PPG/PEG, petrolatum, mineral oil, parabens, sulphated surfactants (SLS/SLES), DEA (Diethanolamine) / TEA (trethanolamine), phthalathes, DEP, DBP, DEHP, aluminium, fluoride, synthetic colourants & fragrances) or because they support African Communities and Biodiversity Conservation through fair trade and ethical sourcing (I love ethical). I could also say I love them because they use recyclable packaging and use only ingredients that are biodegradable and are approved by the Vegan Society, Beauty without Cruelty and Phytotrade Africa. It could also be because they have a good understanding of healthy (vs. bad) bacteria and consider optimising the beneficial bacteria in ones ‘body-ecosystem’. It really could be because of any of the above, right? Pssst… I like this last healthy bacteria bit in particular and it’s why I drink kombucha.
Buuuut, let’s pretend I didn’t say any of the above. I met them. In the flesh. So you can take my gushyness of Pure Beginnings to heart. They are RAD, they are trying to find better ways of doing things for you and your family, and they care.
Pure Beginnings genuinely believes in keeping your skin as pure as the day you were born by creating high quality, effective, organic skin care products that care for you and your family’s skin (and that are not harmful to the environment). Again, if you’ve read the post on why we cloth diaper, you’ll know this ‘skin as pure as the day you were born’ stuff was where I had my ah’ha moment, which has since changed everything.
Pure Beginnings started out in 2007 with their focus being specifically Organic Baby and Organic Kids ranges and has since, expanded into a skin care brand for the whole family. Do I hear a ‘hoorah’? Since then Pure Beginnings has been the leading and most trusted baby and kids organic skin care brand in South Africa. Over these past 8 years, this family owned and run business has worked closely with mothers, midwives and child birth educators (and doulas!!) to develop a skin care range that meets the needs of babies and kids using the purest and safest natural and organic ingredients.
Surely you’ve seen these gorgeous products with the super adorbs child friendly characters…
…looky here! There’s a new addition to the troop (more info coming soon!)
The ranges are comprehensive. And there is a product for preeeeetty much everything you need. (I even used the baby bum cream to moisturize my dry, sniffly nose this winter)…
My faves: No doubt the Berry Toothpaste is on my shopping list about once a month (my little one looooves teeth-brushing time!!). The Baby Wipes are fantastic and are my backup in case I run out of my homemade wipes. The Teething Gel sits on my night stand in case bubs gets fussy in the night. We also love the Bum Cream and the Insect Repellent. (The stick container makes it so easy to apply) .
My faves: Fresh Mint Toothpaste! While my hubby is not sold on my homemade kind, this is what he always asks for. My dad also loves the shaving cream!
Please. Do yourself and your family a favour and get onto the Pure Beginnings bandwagon. You can find all of their stockists here (there are HEAPS so no excuses), and take a peek at the latest news on their blog, facebook and twitter pages. Prices of products range from R35 – R115, and it’s money well spent.
Whether we think about it all that much, we vote with our money. Just like the food we eat either helps or harms us, how we spend our money directly influences which companies thrive and which suffer. Let’s please choose WISELY as to how we spend our money and support local businesses. Let’s join together and support those who are making it easier for us to care for our families and for our environment.
I never wanted an iPad. I knew our child would become addicted and with his strong personality, I wasn’t really up for the fight. But, as it would happen, we did get one (Happy 30th Birthday me!!) and it came with much delight to the parents (a.k.a us), and STRICT stringent rules for the kid/s.
As parents in this (absolutely terrifying) generation (of technology and all-things-accessible), there is this ongoing debate about how many hours of TV are appropriate for what age (each to their own), and should kids be allowed to play on iPads and are they ‘evil babysitters’ and are you a terrible parent for allowing your kids a brief viewing when you simply need a cup of tea and a slab of chocolate? To put your mind at ease, if you are even only the slightest bit concerned about this stuff, you’re top notch and should purchase yourself a noddy badge this very minute (or at least grab a glass of wine… after 5pm, please).
A number of friends have asked how we do the book/ipad/tv stuff. We are by no means the know-it-alls around this (I have no degree in early childhood development), but I thought I’d share a little insight into our family…
We are a BOOK family. This is by intention (my husband is an academic) and well, because our kids are not big TV fans. I know – it’s made that battle slightly less stressful. In fact when we were on a long distance flight recently, I enthusiastically found the in-flight kids channel and forced the earphones over my 3 year old’s ears desperate for some distraction but errr… well… no. It lasted all of about 1 minute – accompanied by our bribery food of choice – banana chips.
‘It is through hearing stories about wicked stepmothers, lost children, good but misguided kings, wolves that suckle twin boys, youngest sons who receive no inheritance but must make their own way in the world and eldest sons who waste their inheritance on riotous living and go into exile to live with the swine that children learn or mislearn both what a child and what a parent is, what the cast of characters may be in the drama into which they have been born and what the ways of the world are. Deprive children of stories and you leave them unscripted, anxious stutterers in their actions as in their words.’
But, we’re also a bit of an iPad family – far less so than the books but it still makes its presence known often. After my son had an eye op, we were instructed to patch his strong eye and interestingly enough, our ophthalmologist ENCOURAGED the iPad. There you have it. It’s hard not to feel judged when people watch your glasses-wearing toddler staring at a bright iPad screen because doesn’t too much screen time cause the need for glasses? Apparently not folks.
So while I’m going to be of no help on the TV front (sorry!), I will share with you our BEST books and iPad apps that our kids love (and when I say kids I mean the older one because the younger one just has to abide by what the older one wants – as you with multiple kids would know).
‘In this classic of modern children’s literature, beloved by generations of readers and listeners, the quiet poetry of the words and the gentle, lulling illustrations combine to make a perfect book for the end of the day’. A must have.
A classic, where kids learn counting, days of the week, and transformation using an interactive board book with pages cut short and with holes in the pages, where the caterpillar has ‘eaten through’ them. Apparently a favourite of former Pres. George W. Bush, this book has been linked to America’s obesity problem – but I mean… come on.
Another winner, read almost every night before bed. A quick read, featuring many different animals as they go to sleep. Rhyming words, delicate illustrations, and a recommendation by Mary-Ruth Wilkinson (who I trust with my LIFE when it comes to children’s book recommendations).
Bought for us by a friend on my oldest’s 1st birthday – I LOVE this book. It has such wonderful rhythm and rhyme making it the perfect book to read aloud.
“Horn went ‘Beep!’
Engine purred.
Friendliest sounds
you ever heard.”
‘Little Blue Truck is friends with all of the barnyard animals, and he is always nice to everyone. Meanwhile big, mean Dumptruck has no time for anyone smaller than him and thinks he’s the biggest, most important thing around. Then Dumptruck gets stuck in the mud and since he’s been so mean no one wants to help him out…’
If you want to buy a bible – please, please, please buy this one. It won the 2010 ALA Notable Award and the 2010 Mom’s Choice Awards and the Debbie Knighton-Fitt Mom Choice Award all years running. As a gift for our firstborn from his Godmother, we received this with the audio CD and he is obbbbb-sessssed with it. Hands down, the best bible I’ve seen, gorgeous illustrations, catchy sayings, and theologically beautiful. I’m desperate to buy the DVDs.
‘This book is about a mouse who took a stroll into the woods, along his way he scares a fox, an owl and a snake by telling them the story of the gruffalo who eats them for dinner. The mouse then runs into the gruffalo and he is hungry for mice. The mouse advised the gruffalo that everyone is afraid of him and that the gruffalo should be scared. To prove himself he advises the gruffalo to follow him behind, as they walk through the woods they come across the fox, the owl and the snake who run away when they see the gruffalo although the gruffalo believes they are running from the mouse as he is the most scariest creature in the woods.’
A gorgeous turn-around story, so cleverly written with wonderfully descriptive phrases and catchy wording.
Buy this book, buy this book now! An ABSOLUTE bedtime favorite, and with a rhyme/song you will immediately recognize, this is well loved by all children. This has been torn apart (with excitement and immaturity) and taped back together again, and again. Another recommendation by Mary-Ruth Wilkinson.
About a boy who finds a penguin. An emotional one for us since it’s the first book our firstborn ‘recited’ as he was learning to talk – much to our amazement. We read this over and over and oooover.
‘This is a lovely book about friendship. One day, a little boy finds a penguin on his doorstep. Presuming the penguin is lost, he decides to help the penguin return to the south pole. They set off in a rowing boat and the boy tells the penguin lots of stories on the way. Once arrived at the south pole, the boy sets off for home alone, but both he and the penguin are sad. Eventually the boy realises that the penguin hadn’t been lost, but had simply wanted a friend and they are reunited.’
The Runaway Bunny is a 1942 picture book written by Margaret Wise Brown and illustrated by Clement Hurd. The plot deals with a small rabbit, who wants to run away. His mother, however, tells him that “if you run away, I will run after you”
Given to our boys in New Zealand by very dear family of our friends, this has been read a gazillion times. A NZ favourite and bestseller, this is ‘definitely one of the best picture books for kids learning how to read; a simple and clear text with a solid rhyming scheme, awesome bright pictures, and a practical message. The book works through progressively bigger tractors getting stuck in the mud, and then unspools it with the little yellow digger ending up the ultimate hero (and the concrete pad finally laid).’
Given to us by another one of my favourite girlfriends in the entire universe, this book had ME captivated at first read. This is imagination at its BEST! Without question, a must-buy. You can’t go wrong with this one.
‘Opening the pages of Press Here a child enters into an imaginative world filled with dots of all colors and sizes, but it all starts with a simple yellow dot. As pages are turned and actions completed the dots come to life before a child’s eyes. Turn the book, shake the book and even blow on the dots in the book and listen to the laughter pour into your home as children & adults everywhere fall in love with this ingenious little picture book’.
The day we left Canada, while our bags were packed and sitting in our apartment, we took a stroll down memory lane. We drove past the hospital where the boys were born, we popped in at Regent College where my husband had studied and we took a walk through Chapters on Granville and Broadway – where I had worked my first job (and had been there approx 9 days). In a moment of pure spontaneity, we bought this ridiculously heavy and expensive ($45) book for the kids. Out of 4.5 years in Vancouver, this has to have been one of the best things we bought overseas. I get emotional just thinking about it.
Want a good GREEN story? Read The Lorax (included in this collection)…
‘The Lorax presents the complicated issue of caring for our environment to children in an approachable lesson about the mythical creature “the Lorax”. The Lorax “speaks for the trees” as he defends a forest of “Truffula” trees from the greedy axe of the Once-ler, a man selfishly determined to make a fortune without thought to his lasting impact on the environment and creatures around him. The Once-ler is successful, as least for a while. But before long, the Truffula trees are all gone, the forest creatures are forced to leave for their own survival, and the Once-ler who refused to heed the warnings of the Lorax is soon out of business for good. The story offers an element of hope and redemption at the end, as the Once-ler gives his account to a small boy many years later, offering him the last Truffula seed with the expectation that the boy will reverse the damage that he has done’.
Winnie the Pooh, a Collection of Tales and Poems – A.A. Milne
Another irresistible collection of stories and poems. This is another classic that has captivated the minds of adults and children alike. Beautifully written, and illustrated, you can’t help but love the simplicity (and depth) of the storytelling and the characters who reside in the Hundred Acre Wood.
‘When Christopher Robin asks Pooh what he likes doing best in the world, Pooh says, after much thought, “What I like best in the whole world is Me and Piglet going to see You, and You saying ‘What about a little something?’ and Me saying, ‘Well, I shouldn’t mind a little something, should you, Piglet,’ and it being a hummy sort of day outside, and birds singing.”
‘Happy readers for over 70 years couldn’t agree more. Pooh’s status as a “Bear of Very Little Brain” belies his profoundly eternal wisdom in the ways of the world. To many, Winnie-the-Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, and the others are as familiar and important as their own family members. A.A. Milne’s classics, Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner, are brought together in this beautiful edition, complete and unabridged, with recolored illustrations by Milne’s creative counterpart, Ernest H. Shepard. Join Pooh and the gang as they meet a Heffalump, help get Pooh unstuck from Rabbit’s doorway, (re)build a house for Eeyore, and try to unbounce Tigger. A childhood is simply not complete without full participation in all of Pooh’s adventures’. (All ages) – Emilie Coulter.
‘In a Time to Read, Mary Ruth K. Wilkinson and her daughter, Heidi Wilkinson Teel, have compiled a helpful guide to children’s books. More than bibliography A TIME TO READ also includes essays on the nature of children, families, literature and story–and how these hold together in a Christian life, reflecting Mary Ruth’s 30 years’ experience teaching a literary and Christian approach to children’s books.’
~ Right, so, I lent this book to someone in Vancouver. I’d love it back if that’s you!
Far from being the perfect parent (FAAAAR), I have limited the iPad to only having educational apps. The kids know no different – they love them. We also put the clock timer on, on the iPad itself so when it buzzes, time’s UP (no tantrums).
The Endless Series: My ULTIMATE favourite. Of.all.time.
Usually, the initial download is free and then if you wish to acquire more words, letters, numbers etc. then you need to purchase them. Worth every penny.
I’m fairly certain my child can recite and sound out his alphabet, can count and build words (!) PURELY because of the AMA-ZING Endless Series. I love love love LOVE these apps.
‘Endless Alphabet is a great educational app that allows children to practice their alphabet while learning new words and definitions as well as practice their spelling skills. With highly animated letters and characters, this app takes learning to a new level. It engages and educates little minds as they explore new words with fun and silly characters.’ – www.bestappsforkids.com
Practice writing your ABCs with Winnie the Pooh in this interactive app. Help Pooh complete his quest for honey by catching falling letters and bringing letter puzzles to life. (Parents and caregivers can track proficiency for up to four children in the comprehensive parents’ section).
The PrestoBingo Apps were great when my son had his eye patch on and needed to use his weaker eye to identify shapes and colours…
PrestoBingo Color’s first set of colors covers basic identification for preschoolers: black, blue, brown, gray, green, orange, pink, purple, red, white and yellow. On each screen, kids are asked to find objects of a certain color. Friendly narration guides them if they get stuck. To make it more challenging, sometimes kids will need to tilt their device to find a hiding shape that’s just off the screen. Then, when the basics are mastered, the difficulty level can be changed. Magenta? Periwinkle? Plum? Developing a broad vocabulary to describe color becomes a fun game.
Learn SHAPES! Beautifully illustrated and animated puzzles hide up to 20 shapes. This game teaches your child circles, diamonds, ovals, rectangles, semicircles, squares, trapezoids, and triangles. Each type of shape is explained and identified. Play a game of hide and seek. Some shapes are in plain sight, but some can be tricky to find! Do I spy an oval, hidden in the tree? Do I spy a diamond kite floating in the sky? See how many shapes you can see in each puzzle.
Little engineers will be entertained for hours as they play with come-alive puzzles, creativity-boosting coloring pages, and brain-building matching games (currently a little too advanced for my tots). Extend the play even further by purchasing additional packs with new puzzles, coloring pages, and collectible match cards.
Please join in the conversation!
What are your child’s absolute favourite books, iPad apps, and TV programs? Do you give them a TV limit per day? Do you limit the iPad to desperate measures? Let’s chat about these things as we navigate ourselves through such a technologically advanced society that we feel sane, and after all this, that we’re doing okay…
Today in the car on the way to school, our toddler called himself silly. He was trying to fit little square books into a little box and one fell out by accident and he said – “ahhhgggg I’m so silly”. No big deal, or is it?
Let’s not overthink this one, but in a generation of so much bullying, nastiness, self-esteem issues and peer pressure (from a horrifically early age) maybe we should be teaching our kids to think differently. I recently overheard an interview with a child psychologist and she was saying that self-talk is one thing we, as parents, friends, grandparents and siblings, can be extra aware of and encourage the health of. How your child talks to THEMSELVES is, quite obviously, very important.
So after I nipped the silliness speak in the bud, I went on and on, listing the things that he was: loved, kind, funny, smart, thoughtful, imaginative, fun, gorgeous, valued, important, caring, wonderful, and and and. I know, what a way to swing that one around huh?
While I’m most probably purely to blame for the silliness speak (I often call my husband ‘Billy’ as in Silly Billy) and while it’s not THAT big of a deal really, maybe let’s give some thought to how we talk to (and about) ourselves, our kids, our spouses (eek) and our friends, LET ALONE strangers; the petrol attendant, or the shop cashier, or the post office clerk.
Let’s find the balance between being silly (in an awesome, fun, laughter-filled way) and calling someone Silly (in a demeaning, derogatory way). There is a difference, even if it’s a little blurry.
Then this picture popped up on Facebook and it punched me in the stomach. Not because my toddler was calling himself silly, but because life is hard, nasty words get thrown around, and you can’t control it all. It’s heavy, but true.
How about we add some Dr. Seuss to the mix, to brighten up the mood. We LOVE Dr. Seuss in our house.
And so while we work on the ‘silly’ word in our house, know we’re fighting the STINKY word too. Only bums and feet are stinky in our house. And the todd(ler), in his wildly sneaky wisdom, has started calling things sting – as in he’s leaving off the ‘keeeey’. Sting(keeeeey). Tough one.
As Ellen DeGeneres says, at the end of every Ellen show “Be kind to one another”.
Watching Facebook, I’ve seen a fair few comments about the shallowness (harsh term, I know, or lack of depth) of recent posts. Which, I can understand.
I’ve also found myself feeling sad that very often those Facebook memories that pop up, take you back to a time when we used to write on each other’s walls and almost interact as humans (albeit online). Now it seems we’re simply reposting trending articles and sharing humorous pictures, arb celebrity statements or competition entires (nothing wrong with that – I love winning a good compo).
But something new struck me yesterday morning when my friend Carrie posted an Instagram pic online, and it’s this: how the most beautiful and profound things are often hidden within the little (seemingly normal) things. It’s not so much the artistically enhanced Madonna quote, or the breaking news about the worlds biggest sandpit, it’s the glimpses into people’s lives – and the small, quite regular activities that are real and beautiful and emotion-stirring.
Of my 4 closest Regent-wives-turn-moms who were a huge part of my community in Vancouver (we all had our kids together), Carrie is last one standing and is due to bid Vancouver farewell in the upcoming weeks. The end of an era. And yesterday morning, when this beautiful friend posted a pic of her 6 month old daughter on a picnic blanket in Almond Park with a Grounds For Coffee cinnamon bun, my heart was stirred. It was simple, normal and deeply rich – an experience anyone who has memories of a certain place will understand.
Because when you embrace it fully, I find that life really is made up of very many small moments. And those small things really matter.
Thinking about this on my way into work that morning, I swung past the post office to pick up a parcel. YAY. I love parcels! It was unexpected one, and from my friend Jo in New Zealand. She had sent me a much anticipated book, along with a block (slab) of Whittaker’s chocolate and her 3yr old sons art. Just the writing on the package struck an emotion. Nothing needed to be explained, all the contents were fairly small, normal things but each held an immense amount of meaning, memory and intentionality.
And that’s what counts. As a parent, it’s easy to click into autopilot. School lunches, bath time, brushing teeth, laundry, mismatched socks, squabbling siblings, toys EVERY-WHERE, unending mess, and nothing happening quickly enough. Then you stop, breathe and notice the smiles, the joy, the fun, the innocence in trying to pick up a snail and the winking eyes and loud giggles coming from these little humans. It’s the carefree ears-in-the-wind galloping of our dogs across the beach. It’s the warmth your lounge fireplace provides on a cold night, the getting lost in a good book or conquering of a crossword puzzle.
Sure there are the BIG things we can celebrate – and should celebrate; a new birth or adoption, the buying of your first home, or the finishing of a tough slog-filled degree. They deserve a huuuuge glass of champers. Absolutely. But I think those big ‘achievements’ often overshadow the very events that mean more (and often got us there in the first place), that occur continuously during the 24 hours we are given every day.
More often than not it’s reading the love letters from your then-boyfriend-now-husband or the taste of a $2 box of timbits that can inject one with inner joy. The sight of snow capped mountains or drinks off the back of a bakkie at sunset. It’s the endorphins that took you running around Stanley Park or climbing Table Mountain. It’s the sound of the bus stopping or the subway screeching; the smell of the sea or 7/11 (7/11 has a VERY distinct smell overseas – I think it’s that flavoured bottomless coffee). They’re like moments locked in time, all small and often mundane with deep meaning, memory, and enjoyment.
I think we forget that each and everything we decide to do, or decide not to do, collectively, forms habits, builds (or breaks down) morale, and paves a direction in which our lives then lead. And it’s the small experiences (and the gratefulness of them) that build upon one another and make all the difference.
And so be present during the weekend pancake breakfasts, the planting of herbs, jumping on a trampoline, the dripping of ice cream down a small hand, cuddling under a duvet, and reading of a storybook over and over and over again – make those moments count. Because they’re pointing towards something much bigger than what you imagine.
Don’t get me started on my birth stories. I could go on forever in so much detail it will either get creepy, weepy, gory or intriguing – depending on who you are and whether you actually asked to hear the stories or not. After my first son was born, I was so blown away by the experience I studied to become a doula (because I felt drawn to attend any and every birth thereafter) and so you can imagine I’m a little obsessed when it comes to (late) pregnancy, labour, birth and squishy, gooey, vernix-covered newborns. I even very seriously considered getting a tattoo of the coordinates of BC Women’s Hospital (the most phenomenal, miraculous, beautifully life changing maternity hospital in Vancouver). Sometimes I used to just drive past, and gaze longingly inside imagining women in the beautiful state of labour. I warned you this could get creepy.
And so, when my (fairly naive) hubby and I arrived at our first pre-natal class in the ‘Couve and the nose-pierced, harem-pants-wearing, tattoo-covered, hair-braided doula-instructor encouraged us to bring rolls of white paper to the hospital to make ‘placenta art’ post-birth, you can imagine we were mentally packing up our ‘birth manual’, breathing exercise CD, incense sticks, and the hypno-birthing business card and running for the hills. Even considering a medication free hospital birth was a huge step for us.
All that to say, I’ve come a looooong loooong way from that first terrifying night of prenatal classes and I think I have given birth (a significant amount) more of the respect I feel it’s due. I’ve taken the time to think through things one might overlook in the signing of the hospital papers and donning of the hospital gown.
Here are a few things that, until I got my head into this big, beautiful birthing world, I’d never considered or even thought much about. But after being on this side of it all, I would highly encourage. (These are mainly directed at those planning a natural delivery, but can most certainly apply to both natural and caesar births).
Doula. Get a doula. A good doula is an INCREDIBLE gift to a birth team. She is consistent, wise, forward thinking, reassuring, safe, hands on, and very, very helpful. She’s not intrusive, and knows the birth is not about her. I can’t imagine having had my babies without a good, supportive birth team, especially my doulas who never left me and knew what I needed before I could articulate it (in nonsense-speak during active labour). I felt so cared for, understood and loved during birth. Good doulas will bring up most of these points below in consultations – and give you even more to think about, such as positions to labour in, natural pain relief options and ways to encourage a natural induction if you’re headed over the 42 week mark, as well as home birth, water birth, or hypnobirth information. Read up on the invaluable benefits of doulas here.
‘If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it’ – John H. Kennell, MD.
Delayed Cord Clamping. Delayed cord clamping is a birth practice ‘where the umbilical cord is not clamped or cut until after pulsations have ceased, or until after the placenta is delivered’. A growing number of new mums are choosing delayed cord clamping for their baby.
Umbilical cord blood is a baby’s life blood until birth. It contains many wonderfully precious cells, like stem cells, red blood cells and white blood cells (including cancer-fighting T-cells) to help fight disease and infection. Yet common practice is to quickly cut off this source of valuable cells at the moment of birth. More and more, people are holding off from this immediate ‘clamp’. Unless there is a medical reason for baby to be checked immediately after birth (which can definitely happen – it almost did with my first), there shouldn’t be any rush to have your cord clamped. In many cases, baby is birthed, lifted up and given to the mother with the cord still connected and held on mums tummy or chest (depending on how long the cord is) until the pulsations have decreased or until the placenta has been birthed. Chat to your care provider about it. (Also, on a side note – how about having your partner cut the cord?).
Your Placenta. Have you even seen one, or pondered the significance of that ‘afterbirth’ (or afterthought?). Friends of mine planted theirs under a tree at each of their childs’ first birthdays (which I think is incredibly special), and others have encapsulated theirs. Once you are holding a baby, who cares about the placenta right? Wrooooong. It is a beautifully fascinating and mysterious nutrient rich organ. It fed your baby. It sustained it. Instead of just checking its all there (which is very important in post partum!) and then tossing it, consider donating it to medical science, encapsulating it, keeping it, or at least giving it a little wink of thanks for all its hard work.
Kangaroo Care (skin on skin). Fight for skin on skin time with baby as much as you can. If for some reason you can’t have your bub on you, get your partner to strip down and put baby on them. It seems obvious, yet most of the time baby is wrapped up in a blanket and placed in a bassinet. There is so much research about the incredible benefits of (naked) skin on (naked) skin, this one is a no-brainer. And it goes beyond the delivery room – continue intentional skin on skin into the early days, weeks and months of life.
Lactation Support. Breastfeeding is not only beautiful, but very healthy, very normal and creates a particularly significant bond between mum and bub. As everyone says ‘breast is best’, but some new mums really struggle to breastfeed. Find help if need be. There are plenty of lactation consultants around, and heaps of advice online (such as La Leche League SA). And if you can’t breastfeed, don’t beat yourself up about it. Your body made a baby, and that’s pretty darn miraculous.
Featured image credit: Evidence Based Birth Blog. (It is such a beautiful picture I want to cry.)
Theran and I chose Ryler’s name when I was 40+ weeks pregnant, and no earlier. Had he been prem, he would have been extremely name-less. Friends forced babysitting services upon us and we landed up at a dessert spot down the road with coffee and cake and our ‘notes’ (not lists, notes). These included a billion pieces of paper with different words, in different languages, different meanings and parts broken up into different understandings with the majority of it all involving a generous amount of creative license.
You see, names are a pretty big deal in our family.
We had been in a season of very, very rich and beautiful community, the kind that changes who you are – the Ubuntu kind. We had lived amongst a community so intertwined and raw, so desperately loved and needing of each other, so open and real, we had changed. We lived amongst beauty, amongst hope and amongst struggle. We’d paid each other rent when we were out of jobs, we spotted each other’s coffee, textbooks and specials at The GAP. We cried, loved, laughed, and laboured together (literally, the baby-being-born kind). We had shared the heartbreak of miscarriage and sick parents and the joys of new life, dreams fulfilled and half marathons completed. It wasn’t so much the big stuff that changed us, although obviously it does, but it was that space in between. The space in between the first coffee and the second on a good friends’ couch or the taste of delicately flavoured food between mouthfuls. It’s the sound of the music between the notes.
The spaces (the points of time) between the beats of a heart is when the blood is forcably pushed into the new ventricle or atrium. It’s that space. It’s not the beat itself that is the big deal, but that time in-between, when the blood gets to where it’s going and does its job. Sure, it needs the heart to beat to do it, and the heart receives due credit, but the movement of the blood doesn’t get a pat on the shoulder when it does. But that’s when the magic happens.
Think about your in-between.
And so on April 29th 2014, just before 7am, after a beautifully real and intense labour (another significant space between), and water birth, Ryler Cael became Ryler Cael – We are :We become in the space between. We are, because YOU are.
And so to our dear Ryler – may you become an inspirer, a community builder, an intentionally relational being, an arm-lifter of the weak.
And as his daddy said to him on the day he was born, ‘the love is in the space between us; you’ll always be safe there’.
I’m currently reading Shauna Niequist’s ‘Bread and Wine’ and in it she talks about a New Years party that she planned, fairly idyllically, which turned out to be a bit of a mess and nothing like she imagined, but the real rawness of the experience trumped any previously wished-for perfection.
Today, was that day. A beautiful mess. And I think we need to hear these stories to be encouraged.
It all started yesterday when I dropped my toddler at school and learned about the pajama party that was to be held at school, the.following.day. ‘Dressing gowns and all’ she mentioned. Dressing gown? Clay doesn’t own a dressing gown. Bad parent. So, an urgent call to my mom on the side of the road rectified that – she was all over it. A gown, she would find. I could relax.
The dressing gown was located and purchased; crisis averted. We wrapped it up, and added it to the inappropriately large pile of presents for Clay’s 3rd birthday, the next day. Cupcakes were baked & iced, gummy snake sweets packed, balloons blown and streamers strewn. Supermom here, is all over it. Oh, and did I mention my husband is in Florida?
Birthday Day arrives (bearing in mind I’m leaving out the night before and HAVING TO sleep RIGHT NEXT TO the packed up gummy snake sweets, and frantically washing Clay’s winter PJs at 9:30pm because they had, should we say, a public bathroom stench and of course it was PJ party day that next day) aaaaand… we’re up, at 5:30am. Birthday Day.
The day started (early) with kids fighting over toys, bedding and trying to Skype their dad who was in a time zone 6 hours behind us. About 317 crackly frustrating calls later, dad was able to join in the birthday festivities on audio. Birthday songs were sung and presents were ripped open and barely looked at before the next one was pounced upon. Coffee spilled, carefully selected clothes given as presents ‘not needed’ apparently – announced by the birthday king himself – and the base plate of Lego (upon which one builds duplo) had a picture of a Lego house which was nowhere to be seen (obviously, because it’s just a picture illustrating the use of the base plate, not advertising a house that COMES with a base plate) – but try explain that to a toddler. On his birthday. When birthday hyperactivity is on overload, and no one is of sound mind. It was nothing short of a small World War. No one wanted to be changed (into clothes or now clean, barely dry, winter PJs). No one wanted anything but beautifully decorated cupcakes for breakfast, and, with a few fights and strong short phrases spoken (either threatening or bribing, I can’t remember), off to school we went.
Leaving 20min early, and driving at roughly 15km per hour to school with 16 delicately decorated cupcakes balancing precariously on the front seat of the car, I barely made it on time.
I joined in for the Birthday Ring at his school, armed with my iPhone to capture every precious, perfect, proud-mom moment. I arrived to see a dirty, crown-less Birthday Boy because why would you wear a crown with a huge 3 on it when it’s your 3rd birthday? Our little treasure had chosen a blue rabbit toothbrush from the school gift box as his present. Well done my son, that’s very practical, your father would be proud.
Since my folks had an prior engagement on the birthday evening (and hubby was away), I thought I’d invite my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and Clay’s 2 cousins for a post-school cuppa and play at a coffee shop around the corner. What construed between school and the coffee shop involved almost being attacked by a dog (jumping into our car off the street), driving back to draw money, fill up with petrol, have my bank card decline… AAAAAND now I’m running late. And then, because, well, why not… I happened to drive past the coin operated machine thing outside our local grocery store. Bad move Debbie, bad move. Worse than your son not having a gown mid-winter. I hate those coin operated things. Clay screamed for me to stop the car as if someone was dislocating his limbs, slowly, one at a time. I considered calling off the coffee date altogether and suggest we abandon the beautiful playground location I had chosen, and replace it with the plastic, dirty, paint chipped tractor outside Checkers. That would be nice.
Just as we pulled into the parking lot, I turned around to see… Clay fast asleep. By this time the blog post was writing itself. There were desperate phone calls made, the waking of sleeping children (as if I had missed that parenting class), tears, mess, spills, babychinos not big enough, very, very stinky diapers (I chose not to care); there was chaos, cold coffee, wet socks, and babies eating raw pizza dough intended for children to play with, and then cook. Just what I’d imagined this 3rd birthday to look like.
As we drove home, Clay looked out the car widow and said ‘mom, the sky is blue, and, well… grey’. That was just it. That was our day.
I’m just like Shauna. I like things neat and tidy (and in a box with a bow; raffia if we’re going rustic, ribbon if we’re going fancy). And today despite my desperate, genuinely pure and noble intentions toward a small human I adore with every cell of my entire self, was not neat, certainly not tidy, and in a box torn apart as quickly as birthday present paper is ripped to reveal its contents (albeit, not clothes apparently – gowns included). Daddy was far away, the red icing (which had to be RED RED and not just RED) tasted, to me, more like food colouring than icing, Clay guzzled his gummy snake with manners cavemen would’ve shunned, the stench of the day was of Clay’s unsavoury nappy (that I could not gather enough energy to change), and the conversation over coffee was disjointed, bitsy and desperate for adult connection.
But that’s just it. That’s us. That’s the real life underneath the Pinterest life. And it’s okay. The mess. The ideal is so seldom a reality, if ever. Be it in marriage, or vocation, in parenthood or trying to celebrate a 3 year old – so much of it is beautifully blue, wonderful, crisp, warm, clear, bright. And then there’s the grey. The hard, tiring and messy. Just as real, and just as okay.
And then out of nowhere (literally) my boy says ‘hey thanks mom for a wonderful day’ and then we headed home, quite weary. And as the lights switched off at 4pm (thanks to load shedding) we snuggled on the ground playing Lego on the new base plate that didn’t come with a house.
And it’s all okay, better than ok. It was beautifully blue, with a bit of grey.
